Jacket Jokes / Recent Jokes
Once, there were two bikers driving down the highway on a cold afternoon."Man! commented one... it's FREEZING!!! and my coat won't zip up. The cold air is killing me!!"The other biker thought for a minute as they sped down the road. "Well, he said at last... you can turn your jacket around, then the open side would be at the back. You wouldn't get so cold that way.""Great idea!" commented the other. "stop and let me switch."The driver pulled over, and the passenger put his jacket on backwards."There! he said when he had completed the switch. "I feel better already."The two of them climbed back on the motorcycle and drove off. Then, suddenly they hit a patch of ice on the road, and spun off and crashed. A few minutes later a crowd had gathered, and when the ambulance arrived, the EMTs shouted out "Is anybody hurt?"One guy from the crowd replied "Well, the driver was dead when I got here, and the other guy was doing more...
One day, I had to pick up my ne're do well brother because his car had broken down.
I probably shouldn't have done this, but I wanted to show off my cool new car I got, so I agreed.
I left work at about five o clock and I went to the gas station before I picked up my brother. Of course, after a few bad incidences with the gas station attendants, I discovered that self serve was the way to go, so I pulled up and hopped out of my car.
When I was finished pumping the gas, I pulled out the pump, but I had forgotten to completely let go of the handle, so some gas spilled out onto the sleeve of my jacket .
'Big deal' I thought, and I paid for the gas and got back into the car. Well, something you must know about my brother is that he's a terribly addicted smoker, and of course, he has no regard for peoples things, not even their new car with leather seats. So, of course, the first thing that brother of mine does when he gets in the car, is lights up a cigarette.
Remember more...
Paddy walks past a building site and sees a sign with LABOURERS WANTED on it so he go into the site office and says to the foreman oive come about the labourers job.
Foreman well Ive just got to give you a simple initiative test so can you give me a sentence with GREAT in it
After a short pause Paddy thinks about his donkey jacket that he always wears and says
well done you can have a start theres a shovel outside
That night Paddy sees his mate Murphy in the pub and tells him about his new job and all about the test and what to say.
SO nice and early monday morning Murphy is at the Foremans door asking about a job because he has taken a few more labourers on the test is a littel bit harder so he says to Murphy can you give me a sentence fascinate in it.
So Murphy recites and oiv got donkey oi tink its great.
The Foreman says NO a sentence with fascinate in it.
So Murphy again says oiv got donkey jacket oi tink its great.
NO NO NO! says the Foreman a more...
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5: 30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, FOR more...
Do you like my new jacket? It's great. Shame your body doesn't suit it, though.
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5: 30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok.
She replies yes. He asks what she is doing.
She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over a fur coat.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it more...
Once upon a time, a guy was sitting at a bar. He was throwing money around, giving the barman hundred dollar tips and buying drinks for everyone. He was surrounded by a crowd of adoring women. The barman liked the tips, but he was kind of curious about a little man that would jump from the rich guy's pocket. The little man would run up and down the bar, kicking over the bowls of peanuts and giving people the finger. Then the little guy would jump back into the man's jacket for a while. The barman went over and asked the guy what was up. So the rich guy says, "Well, let me tell you a little story. I was walking along a beach one day, and I come across this lamp. I rub it, and a genie popped out. I got three wishes, so my first wish was to be fabulously wealthy. Then I wished for a harem. You can see I got both." The barman asks, "So what about that little guy in your jacket?" "Oh, tha t," mumbles the rich guy. "That's the twelve-inch prick I wished more...