Jacques Jokes / Recent Jokes

Jacques Thibault, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book by a fan while in the greenroom after a concert. "There's not much room on this page," he said. "What shall I write?" Another violinist, standing by, offered the following helpful hint: "Write your repertoire."

Jacques Thibault, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book by a fan while in the greenroom after a concert. "There's not much room on this page," he said. "What shall I write?" Another violinist, standing by, offered the following helpful hint: "Write your repertoire."

"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant. "You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter." "Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years

There is a big controversy these days concerning when life begins. In Jewish tradition the fetus is not considered a viable human being until after graduation from medical or law school. - ---------------- Q: What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A: One less drunk!----------------- Q: Why are there so many Italian men in New York named Tony? A: When they came over to this country, they had "To NY" stamped on their foreheads. - ---------------- A Russian, a Saudi, a North Korean and an American are walking down the street. A pollster stops them and asks, "Excuse me, what is your opinion of the meat shortage?" The Saudi replies, "Excuse me, what's a' shortage'?" The Russian replies, "Excuse me, what's meat?" The North Korean replies, "Excuse me, what's an opinion?" Finally, the American replies, "What's' Excuse me?'"----------------- Q: What do New Zealanders call a sheep in their back yard? A: A more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Jacques!
Jacques who?
Jacques of all trades!

Jacques Thibault, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book by a fan while in the greenroom after a concert."Theres not much room on this page," he said. "What shall I write?"Another violinist, standing by, offered the following helpful hint, "Write your repertoire."

Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance when he decided to commit
suicide. He stood at the top of a tall cliff and tied a noose around
his neck. He tied the other end of the rope to a large rock. He drank
some poison and set fire to his clothes. He even tried to shoot
himself at the last moment.
He jumped and fired the pistol. The bullet missed him and cut through
the rope above him. Free of the threat of hanging, he plunged into
the sea. The sudden dunking extinguished the flames and made him
vomit the poison. He was dragged out of the water by a kind fisherman
and was taken to hospital, where he died... of exposure!