Journalist Jokes / Recent Jokes
What do you get if you cross a radio music presenter with Match of the Day? DDDDDDDDDDDDDJ!
A weather forecaster took a job in another part of the country. When asked why he transferred he replied, "The weather didn't agree with me."
Who do you think was sent to cover the story of the baby lion born in the zoo? A cub reporter.
Secret MicroSoft C code - Microsoft marketing strategyone_month_old) { if (there_are_still_bugs) market(bugfix); if (sales_drop_below_certain_point) raise(RUMOURS_ABOUT_A_NEW_BUGLESS_VERSION); } while(everyone_chats_about_new_version) { make_false_promise(it_will_be_multitasking); /* Standard Call, in lie. h */ if (rumours_grow_wilder) make_false_promise(it_will_be_plug_n_play); if (rumours_grow_even_wilder) { market_time=ripe; say("It will be ready in one month); order(programmers, stop_fixing_bugs_in_old_version); order(programmers, start_brainstorm_about_new_version); order(marketingstaff, permission_to_spread_nonsense); vapourware=TRUE; break; } } switch (nasty_questions_of_the_worldpress) { case WHEN_WILL_IT_BE_READY: say("It will be ready in", today+30_days," we're just testing"); break; case WILL_THIS_PLUG_AND_PLAY_THING_WORK: say("Yes it will work"); ask(programmers, why_does_it_not_work); pretend(there_is_no_problem); break; case more...
Q: How many publishers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Three. One to screw it in and two more to hold down the editor.
Q: How many editors does it take to change a lightbulb? A: It was supposed to be in place last week!
Back when Vietnam was still separated as North and South, the president of South Vietnam then was President Thieun.
As he was getting a lot of unfavorable treatment from his own country's news agencies, he invited Tara Singh, a journalist from Malaysia, to brief him about the setup of Bernama.
After Tara Singh had briefed the president about Bernama, the president was impressed. He declared that it was time for him to set up his own Bernama, to counter all the criticism he has been receiving lately.
Tara Singh politely said, "But Mr. President, the name' Bernama' is already used by Malaysia... maybe if you chose another name."
"Of course, you're right! I shall name it after myself then. It will be known as Thieunama! ! ", said the president.
Tara Singh nearly choked on that! " Ahh, Mr President, that may not be the best name. To the Cantonese speaking people, that name is a four-letter word concerning mothers," said more...