Katie Holmes Jokes / Recent Jokes

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have named their daughter Suri. According to Tom, Suri means "red rose" in Farsi and "princess" in Hebrew. In English, it means "I apologize."

November 20 - November 26
"Don't give me,'What happens in Italy, stays in Italy.' I want Travolta dressed and out of our room, now!"

-Katie Holmes, to husband Tom Cruise.

Life & Style magazine reports that, according to a source close to the family, Katie Holmes' parents are extremely unhappy that their daughter is not marrying in a "proper" Catholic ceremony, and may not attend.

Of course if it were a proper Catholic ceremony, God would no doubt be extremely unhappy, as Katie is a fornicating whore who had a baby out of wedlock, and Tom is a suspected sodomite.

While on a shopping trip with husband Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes called the police.

When asked why she called police, Holmes said, “It was a split-second decision when I noticed Tom wasn't looking.”

Maggie Gyllenhaal is in final talks to star opposite Christian Bale
in Christopher Nolan's "The Dark Knight," the next installment in the revitalized Batman franchise. She'll play the role of Rachel Dawes, played by Katie Holmes in "Batman Begins." Holmes dropped out of theproject earlier in the year.

It is speculated that Holmes was persuaded not to do the film by husband Tom Cruise. Cruise is upset that Batman is not a Scientologist - he is a Reform Jew. Also, it is widely known that Batman takes Prozac, and drives around in a Batmobile, not a spaceship.