Labour Jokes / Recent Jokes

GUJARATIS have problem pronouncing the word wrap and usually render it rape. Kannadigas go one better; they spell the word the way our gujju friends pronounce it. A Hari Prakash of Bangalore writes of an accountant of a local weekly who, when the publication was delayed, had to hire casual labour to wrap magazines in brown paper for posting. In the cash payment voucher he entered the explanation, "paid to casual labour towards raping charges." "If the work load was heavy, the entry often read, "paid to casual labour towards raping through out the night."

The Indian and Cuban labour ministers were in the midst of a meeting.

Cuban labour minister:' Labour problems in our nation produce hundreds of types of tensions for me.'

Indian labour minister:' That's nothing. Labour problems in our nation produce 50, 000 babies every day.'

The newly appointed health minister of a northern state, whose knowledge of English was somewhat elementary, was on his first official visit to the largest hospital in the capital. The director of medical services took the minister around the operating theatres and general wards till they came to the women patients' section.
'This, sir, is the labour ward,' explained the director.
The minister stopped in his tracks and remarked firmly:' I will not visit this ward. Don't you know we have a labour minister in the government? I must not trespass into his domain.

Q: How many Labour Party members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They haven't got a policy on that.

Have you heard of Mr. Udurawana applying to a medical school to become a doctor?
Needless to say he never made it. You know why?
These are the answers he wrote in his entrance exam.
Antibody - against everyone
Artery - The study of the paintings.
Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria.
Caesarean section - a district in Rome.
Cardiology - advance study of poker playing.
Cat scan - searching for lost kitty.
Chronic - neck of a crow.
Coma - punctuation mark.
Cortisone - area around local court.
Cyst - short for sister.
Diagnosis - person with slanted nose.
Dilate - the late British Princess Diana.
Dislocation - in this place.
Duodenum - couple in blue jeans.
Enema - not a friend.
Fake labour - pretending to work.
Genes - blue denim.
Hernia - she is close by.
Impotent - distinguished/well known.
Labour pain - hurt at work.
Lactose - people without toes.
Lymph - walk more...

A life long supporter of the labour party was lying on his death bed when he suddenly decided to join the Tory party.

"But why?" asked his puzzled friend, "You're labour through and through… Why change now?"

The man learned forward and explained, "Well, I'd rather it was one of them that died and not one of us."

How you can spot a Canadian, eh? -Don McGillivray (Ottawa columnist for Southam Newspapers)How do you tell a Canadian from an American? It used to be enough to ask him to say the alphabet. When the Canadian got to the end, he'd say "zed" instead of "zee". But 18 years of Sesame Street have taught a lot of Canadian kids to say "zee," and it's starting to sound as natural as it does south of the 49th parallel. Another test used to be the word "lieutenant". Canadians pronounced it in the British was, "leftenant", while Americans say "lootenant". But American cop shows and army shows and movies have eroded that difference, too. Canadians have been adopting American spelling as well. They used to put a "u" in words like labour. The main organization in the country, the equivalent of the AFL-CIO, is still officially called the Canadian Labour Congress. But news organizations have been wiping out that distinction by more...