Lad Jokes / Recent Jokes
The parish priest needs his house painted so he offers the job to one of his altar boys. The first day the kid paints the entire inside of the house, he's sweating like hell but eventually gets it finished.
The priest commends him on the work and with a flourish hands him $5.
The boy looks at the money and says to the priest, "Thanks very much Father, you're a virgin."
The priest is a bit startled but makes no remark.
The next day the boy has to paint the outside of the house; it's a really hot day and he just manages to finish the job without collapsing.
The priest looks at the job and this time gives the lad another $5 bill.
Once again the lad looks at the money and says, "Thanks very much Father, you really are a virgin".
At this stage the priest decides to take action. "Tommy," he says, "that's twice you called me a virgin. Do you have any idea what the word more...
A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night asks his mother, "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?"The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure."The son thanks his mom, and then seeks his father opinion, "Dad, why are wedding dresses white?"The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, all household appliances come in white."
The medics rushed Mr. Steinberg to the hospital in the middle of the night, apparently with a massive heart attack. The doctors work on him all night and morning and finally discharge him to ICU, where therapy continues.
After a couple of days, Mr. Steinberg's physician comes into his room and says,' Sol, I'm happy to tell you that you are completely well. You have the heart function that you did when you were a fifteen-year-old lad. We're going to send you home tomorrow. You don't have to worry about your heart; do any physical exercise that you like.'
Mr. Steinberg goes home and that evening is talking with his wife.' Doris, you'll never believe it! I'm completely well. I have no worries with my heart. Tonight, Darling, you and I are going to make love like you've never had before - wild, passionate sex! You'll love it!'
Doris thinks for a minute and says,' I don't know, Sol. I've heard about active sex and heart conditions. I don't want it to be on more...
The Arkansas lad was obviously deeply troubled."Why so glum, Chum?" asked the kindly stranger."If my parents get divorced... will they still be brother and sister?"
A keen Texas lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. The store was the biggest in the world and sold everything under the sun.
"Have you ever been a salesman before?" the boss asked during his interview.
"Yes, I was a salesman in Texas," the lad answered.
The boss took an immediate liking to him and told him he could start the next day. "I'll come and see how you made out after we close up," the boss said.
The day was long and hard for the young man, but finally it was 5 o'clock. The boss closed up the store and found the lad sitting, slumped and exhausted, in a chair. "How many sales did you make today?" the boss asked.
"One," said the lad.
"One?" said the boss, obviously displeased. "Most of the sales people on my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"
"Exactly $101,334.53," said the more...
A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there. The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?" "Yes, I was a salesman in the country" said the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up." The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?". " One," said the young salesman." Only one," blurted the boss, "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?" "Three hundred thousand dollars," said the young man." How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss." Well," said the salesman, "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a more...
The young lad had applied for a job, and was asked his full name. "Aloysius Montmorency Geoghan," he replied. "How do you spell that?" asked the manager. "Er? sir? er? can't you just put it down without spelling it?"