Lead Jokes / Recent Jokes
How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but she just stands there holding up the bulb and expects the whole world to revolve around her.
Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.
A2: None. Get the drummer to do it.
Q: How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 50. 1 to do it and the others to stand around and say, "I could do that better."
Q: How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Fifty. One to do it and the others to stand around and say, "I could do that better.Q: What do lead trumpet players use for birth control? A: Their personality.Q: What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? A: King Kong is more sensitive.Q: What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? A: Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.The best recording of the Haydn Trumpet Concerto is Music Minus One.Q: How to trumpet players traditionally greet each other? A: "Hi. I'm better than you."Q: How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door? A: The doorbell shrieks!
According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes," committed by young male repeat offenders who apparently don't know the first thing about their business. This information was included in an interesting, amusing article titles "How Not to Rob a Bank," by Tim Clark, which appeared in the 1987 edition of The Old Farmers Almanac.
Clark reported that in spite of the widespread use of surveillance cameras, 76 percent of bank robbers use no disguise, 86 percent never study the bank before robbing it, and 95 percent make no long-range plans for concealing the loot. Thus, he offered this advice to would-be bank robbers, along with examples of what can happen if the rules aren't followed:
Pick the right bank. Clark advises that you don't follow the lead of the fellow in Anaheim, Cal., who tried to hold up a bank that was no longer in business and had no money. On the other hand, you don't want to be too familiar more...
Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door? A: He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and an All-Pro offensive lineman? A: Stage makeup.Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb? A: One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.Q: What is the difference between a soprano and a Porsche? A: Most musicians have never been inside a Porsche.Q: Did you hear about the female opera singer who had quite a range at the lower end of the scale.A: She was known as the deep C diva.Q: What is the missing link between the bass and the ape? A: The baritone.Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor? A: About 10 pounds.Q: How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid? A: When the other tenors notice.Ever hear the one about the tenor who was so off-key that even the other tenors could tell? Q: How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb? A: Six. One more...
Q: How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Fifty. One to do it and the others to stand around and say, "I could do that better. Q: What do lead trumpet players use for birth control? A: Their personality. Q: What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? A: King Kong is more sensitive. Q: What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? A: Government bonds eventually mature and earn money. The best recording of the Haydn Trumpet Concerto is Music Minus One. Q: How to trumpet players traditionally greet each other? A: "Hi. I'm better than you."Q: How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door? A: The doorbell shrieks!