Leapt Jokes / Recent Jokes

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the ship
Not a circuit was buzzing, not one microchip;
The phasers were hung in the arm'ry securely,
In hope that no aliens would get up early.

The crewmen were nestled all snug in their bunks
(Except for the few who were partying drunks);
And Picard in his nightshirt and Bev in her lace,
Had just settled down for a neat face-to-face.

When out in the halls there arose such a racket,
That we leapt from our beds, pulling on pants and jacket.
Away to the lifts we all shot like a gun,
Leapt into the cars and yelled loudly, "Deck One!"

The bridge Red-Alert lights, which flashed through the din,
Gave a luster of Hades to objects within.
When, what, on the viewscreen, should our eyes behold,
But a weird kind of sleigh, and some geek who looked old.

But the glint in his eyes was so strange and askew,
That we knew in a moment it more...

He was just casually sipping his beer, relaxing and listening to the music. Suddenly, someone burst through the door. "Joe! Joe, your barn is on fire!"The man leapt up from the bar, ran outside, jumped on his horse and started galloping away. He rode for a couple minutes, then thought, "wait a minute... I don't have a barn!" So he turned around and went back to the bar and his beer.He was working on his second beer when another man came storming into the bar. "Joe! Joe! Someone is stealing all your cattle!"The man leapt out of his seat, got on his horse, and started galloping away. He rode for a few minutes and thought, "Wait a minute! I don't have any cattle!" So he turned around and returned to the bar.He was working on his fourth beer when yet another man stormed into the bar. "Joe! Joe! Someone is screwing your extremely beautiful wife!"The man leapt up, got on his horse and started galloping away. He rode for a few minutes and more...