Lecturer Jokes

At the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturer and tells the class of officers that the session will focus on potential problems and the resulting strategies. One of the officers in the class begins by asking the first question, "Will we have to fight a World War Three?" "Yes, comrades, looks like you will," answers the general. "And who will be our enemy, Comrade General?" another officer asks. "The likelihood is that it will be China." The class looks alarmed, and finally one officer asks, "But Comrade General, we are 150 million people and they are about 1.5 billion. How can we possibly win?" "Well," replies the general, "Think about it. In modern war, it is not the quantity, but the quality that is the key. For example, in the Middle East, 5 million Jews fight against 50 million Arabs, and the Jews have been the winners every time." "But sir," asks the panicky officer, "Do we have more...

IT'S OFFICIAL: CHEMISTRY LECTURES ARE A YAWN.
October 9, 1995
A scientist has come up with proof of something students have known for years - chemistry lectures are boring. In an article published in the current issue of Chemistry in Britain, a university chemistry lecturer introduced a guest lecturer to a class of 50 doctoral candidates.
Then, he and his colleagues studied variations in what he calls the HTFDR - "head-to-floor distance reduction." After about an hour, the average HTFDR dropped from 135cm to 121cm, said the author of the study, who preferred to remain anonymous.
The HTFDR immediately bounced back to normal when the speaker uttered the magic words: "And in conclusion..."

Teacher To Student: Can You Define Who Is LECTURER?
Student: A LECTURER Is A Person Who Has A Very Bad Habit Of Speaking When Someone Is SLeeping.

Lecturer: The lecturer is taking the class seriously.

One of the student looking towards the window side in the class room. The lecturer asks the student "For what purpose you are coming to the school?"

Student: For vidhya sir(In Telugu Vidhya means Education).

Lecturer: Then why you are looking towards window?

Student: Vidhya(Girl friend) has not come upto now sir.

IT`S OFFICIAL: CHEMISTRY LECTURES ARE A YAWN.
October 9, 1995

A scientist has come up with proof of something students have known for years -- chemistry lectures are boring. In an article published in the current issue of Chemistry in Britain, a university chemistry lecturer introduced a guest lecturer to a class of 50 doctoral candidates.

Then, he and his colleagues studied variations in what he calls the HTFDR -- "head-to-floor distance reduction." After about an hour, the average HTFDR dropped from 135cm to 121cm, said the author of the study, who preferred to remain anonymous.

The HTFDR immediately bounced back to normal when the speaker uttered the magic words: "And in conclusion.