Lesbian Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. What did one lesbian frog say to the other?
A. Hey!!, we do taste like chicken!
Q. Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?
A. Because, he saw the snowblower coming up the street.
Name change
Abe was one of the best talent spotters in the USA. One day, a young fellow walks into Abe’s office and says he wants to break into show-biz, so Abe says "Okay kid, show me what you do." The kid tells some jokes, does a little soft shoe shuffle, sings a bit, does an acrobatic act and is good enough to impress Abe.
"Great kid! Just great!," says Abe. "I can do things for ya! I think I can get you a show on T.V." (This was the early sixties.) "By the way, what`s your name?"
The young man, proud and excited, exclaims "Penis Van Lesbian."
"`S’cuse me?," questions Abe.
"My name is Penis Van Lesbian" again replies the young man.
"Hey I`m sorry kid, you`re gonna have to change your name, nobody is gonna hire you with a name like Penis Van Lesbian."
Well the young man is crestfallen but steadfastly refuses to change his name, so he leaves to find another more...
Q. What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?
A. See you next month!
An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat,
jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink.
As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down
next to him.
After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and
asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
"Well, I have spent my whole life on the ranch herding
cows, breaking horses, mending fences... I guess I am,"
replied the cowboy.
After a short while he asked her what she was.
"I've never been on a ranch so I know I'm not a cowboy,"
said the young woman, "but I am a lesbian. I spend my whole
day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the
morning I think of women. When I eat, shower, watch TV,
everything seems to make me think of women."
A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another
drink. A couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a
real more...
A lesbian goes to her doctor for her annual physical.
After the doctor completes the physical, she says, "You can get dressed now. Your test results will be back in a few days. Stop by my office and I'll review the exam I just gave you."
When the patient gets to the office, the doctor says, "Well, you seem to be in perfect health. I couldn't find a thing wrong in my exam. Furthermore, I'd like to compliment you on your excellent personal hygiene. I have hundreds of patients, and I can't think of a one of them who keeps her genital area so clean and fresh."
The patient says, "Well, there's a perfectly good reason for that...you see, I have a woman in at least three times a week."
Q. Why couldn't the Lesbian tennis star compete in the Dutch Open? A. She got her finger caught in a dike!
One lesbian said to the other, "I'll just be Frank with you,"
...and the other said, "Ok, you be Frank today and I'll be Frank tommorrow."