Lightning Jokes / Recent Jokes
How does a male lightning bolt feel when he notices an attractive female lightning bolt? Thunderstruck
Q: Why does Jessica Simpson always smile during lightning storms? A: She thinks her picture is being taken
Little Johnny is excited because the circus has come to town and his mum has got front row tickets for him. Finally the evening comes and Little Johnny and his mum go off to the big top. Little Johnny sits there and enjoys the lions and the tigers and the jugglers and the trapeze artists, and finally out comes little Johnny's favourites, the clowns.
Johnny is loving the clowns and their humorous japes until one of the clowns comes up to him and says, "Little boy are you the front end of an ass?" "No," replies little Johnny. "Are you the rear end of an ass?" "No," replies little Johnny again. "In that case," says the clown, "you must be no end of an ass." Little Johnny is distraught and he runs out of the circus and all the way home in tears.
When his mum catches up with him she says, "Little Johnny don't worry, your Uncle Marvo, the master of lightning wit, backchat and repartee, is coming to stay more...
Here's a late entry for the Darwin Awards - an award generally given out posthumously for the most stupid way to die. It is possibly the grossest and most disgusting nomination I have ever read. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
A pre-med student from the University of Arizona was hoping to core big with his date on a Friday night. To put the girl in the mood, he drove her up to a spot on Mount Lemmon which overlooks the city of Tucson. They walked to an open knoll where they could ee the city lights. Overcum by the romantic locale, she succumbed to his pleas and they stripped down, made a bed of their clothes, and passionately began making love.
The heavy storm clouds rolling overhead and the low rumble of thunder inside them excited the lovers even more. At the first few flashes of lightning, they never looked up to see the charred remains of once great trees. Their idyllic clearing was a hotbed of electrical activity during the warm desert more...
Editor's note: I've gotten more than one 1999 Darwin Awards posting this year (that don't match), but I figure the gene pool is a big place...
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The true high point of the year has arrived. Yes, it is the 1999 Darwin Awards. For those sheltered few of you who are not fully aware of the Darwin Awards; these awards are given annually (and posthumously) to those individuals who did the most for the human gene pool by removing themselves from it.
GRAVITY KILLS
A 22-year-old Reston, Va., man was found dead after he tried to use luggage straps (the stretchy little ropes with hooks on each end) to bungee jump off a 70-foot railroad trestle, police said. Fairfax County, Va., police said Eric A. Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped... and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia more...