Lightning Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two men are having a good time in a bar. Outside, there's a terrible thunderstorm. Finally, one of the men thinks that it's time to leave. Since he has drunk a lot, he decides to walk home.
"But aren't you afraid of being struck by lightning?" his friend asks.
"Not at all. Statistics shows that, in this part of the country, one person per year gets struck by lightning - and that one person died in the hospital three weeks ago."
A lawyer and two buddies were fishing on Caddo Lake in Texas when a lightning storm hit. Most of the other boats immediately headed for the shore, but not our friend the lawyer. Alone on the rear of his aluminum bass boat with his buddies, this individual stood up, spread his arms wide and shouted: "HERE I AM LORD, LET ME HAVE IT!" Needless to say, God delivered. The other two passengers on the boat survived the lightning strike with minor burns.
Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well Bill, Im really confused on this one. Its a tough decision; Im not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows 95 among other indiscretions. I believe Ill do something Ive never done before; Ill let you decide where you want to go."Bill pushed up his glasses, looked up at God and replied, "Could you briefly explain the difference between the two?" Looking slightly puzzled, God said, "Better yet, why dont I let you visit both places briefly, then you can make your decision. Which do you choose to see first, Heaven or Hell?"Bill played with his pocket protector for a moment, then looked back at God and said, "I think Ill try Hell f irst." So, with a flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke, Bill Gates went more...
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian.
The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area. Finally, one day during a tropical storm, Justin said to Christian "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark - then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten..."
As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a flash of lightning hit the water and, lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time went on and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. During the next tropical storm, Justin figured that the same lightning force more...
Why do raindrops like lightning at night? -So they can see where they are going
The Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In six months I am going to make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the evil things are destroyed. But, I want to save a few good people and two of every living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build an ark." And, in a flash of lightning, he delivered the specifications for the ark. "OK," Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints, "I'm your man."
Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began to fall in torrents. The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting in his yard, weeping, and there was no ark.
"Noah!" shouted the Lord, "Where is My ark?" A lightning bolt crashed into the ground right beside Noah.
"Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best, but there were some big problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the ark's construction, but Your plans did not meet their code. So, I more...