Lightning Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a priest was playing baseball. A nun was cheerleading near first base.
The priest was up to bat. The pitcher threw the ball. The priest swung, missed, and said "Dammit!
I missed!"
"Don't you say that mister or God will strike you with a bolt of lightning," the nun said.
Again the pitcher threw the ball. The priest swung, missed, and said "Dammit!
I missed!"
"If you say that one more time mister, God will strike you with a bolt of lightning," the nun said.
Once again the pitcher threw the ball. The priest swung, missed, and said "Dammit! I missed!"
A bolt of lightning strikes the nun and God says "Dammit! I missed!"

Why are a pianists' fingers like lightning?
They rarely strike the same spot twice.

Q. Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?

A. The scientists were brainstorming!

There were 4 guys sitting in a bar. One of them decided to play a little game about what each of them thought was the fastest thing in the world. Well the first guy says, "I think a Concord Jet is the fastest thing in the world, because it can go faster than the speed of sound." Well the second guy says, "Well I think I got you beat on that one! I think lightning is the fastest thing in the world, because it can go faster than the speed of light and sound." Well the third guy says, "Well I believe i have both of you beat. The brain is the fastest thing in the world, because whenever you need something, it is right there for you." Well the fourth guys clearly states, "Well I have got you all beat! I think the anal sphincter muscle is the fastest thing in the world." The other three guys say really? Why's that? And the fourth guys says, "Well I was on a Concord Jet, it got struck by lightning, and I didn't know what to do. .. so I shit my more...

What type of music do lightning bolts listen to?-Rock and Roll

What did the lightning bolt say to the old oak tree?-Hang onto your bark, this will be no ordinary spark

A little girl walked daily to and from school. Though the weather one morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made the daily trek to the elementary school. As the day progressed, the winds whipped up, along with thunder and lightning. The mother was worried that her daughter would be frightened walking back home from school, and she herself feared the electrical storm might cause her harm. Following each roar of the thunder, lightning would cut through the sky like a flaming sword. Being very concerned, the mother got into her car and drove along the route to the school. Soon she saw her small child walking along. The thunder would boom, and then, at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look and smile. One followed another, each time with her child stopping, looking up at the streak of light and smiling. Finally, the mother called out and asked, "Honey, what are you doing?" Her little girl answered, "God keeps taking pictures of me!"