Linda Jokes / Recent Jokes

A friend, Linda, and her sister were driving in the procession to the cemetery after a distant relative's funeral."Since we don't really know anybody, do you want to just head home?" she asked. When her sister nodded, Linda made a right turn.She had gotten about a quarter of a mile down the road when she happened to look in her mirror.The rest of the procession was still following her.

Entry 1
Dear Diary,
I'm so excited! Just got a job as an intern at the White House... and I don't know a thing about medicine. Don't even know what my duties are yet, but I hope it's a "hands on" position. Entry 2
Dear Diary,
You won't believe this! I snuck into the Oval Office when no one was looking. But then I dropped one of my contacts. So, I got down on my hands and knees and was looking for it when-guess what-the president walked in. He said, "You must be the new intern." That man is psychic! I hope he likes me. Entry 3
Dear Diary,
I think the president likes me. Today he dropped his contacts on the rug and asked me to find them. Entry 4
Dear Diary,
He really likes me. Entry 5
Dear Diary,
I have been sent to the stupid Pentagon to work. It is such a drag. Like they're going to put me in charge of heat-seeking missiles or something. But I still talk to my Bubba-cakes on the phone. He calls me "1-900 Monica." more...

Jill calls her friend Linda, Linda picks up the phone.
Jill: "Do ya wanna go to the mall with me?"
Linda: "Why?"
Jill: "I need to study cosmetics"
Linda: "Why?"
Jill: "Well, my English teacher says,' I have a make-up exam on Monday