Lips Jokes / Recent Jokes

Question...
Why do some black girls have bigger lips then others?
Answer...
The black girls with the bigger lips had more practice
sucking the meat out of the hot sauced neck bone.

"The gene pool could use a little chlorine." "All generalizations are false." "Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine." "Time is what keeps everything from happening at once." "I love cats... they taste just like chicken""Out of my mind. Back in five minutes." "Seen on an old, beat-up car: "This is not an abandoned vehicle." "Forget the Joneses, I keep up with the Simpsons." "Born Free.. . . . Taxed to Death""Cover me. I'm changing lanes." "As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools""Happiness is a belt-fed weapon""The more people I meet, the more I like my dog." "Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot." "Conserve toilet paper, use both sides." "REHAB is for quitters""I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!""Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her more...

Once upon a time, there was a prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, the following year he was allowed to speak two words. (This was before the time of letter writing or sign language.)
One day, he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes) and fell madly in love with her. With the greatest difficulty, he refrained from speaking for 2 whole years so that he could look at her and say, "My darling." But at the end of these 2 years, he wished to tell her that he loved her. So he waited 3 more years without speaking, bringing the total number of silent years to 5.
At the end of these 5 years, he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited another 4 years without speaking.
Finally, as the 9th year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds. more...

John said to Mary, "I'll bet you ten cents I can kiss you on the lips without touching them."
"You're crazy," said Mary. "That's impossible. Here's a dime that says you can't."
The two dimes were placed on the mantelpiece and John then enfolded Mary and for ten minutes kissed her passionately, intimately, and moistly.
She broke away at last, panting and disheveled, and said, "You did nothing BUT touch my lips."
John pushed the dimes toward her and said, "So I lose."

The Southern boy was trying to make time up North. "Honey chile," he purred to a luscious Yankee, "would it be all right if Ah kissed yo' all?"
Snapped she: "Aren't my lips enough?"

Yo lips so big you can kiss ya girlfriend and wash her hair at the same time.

Bill and John, two lumberjacks, are out cutting timber one cold day when Bill starts to complain about always having chapped lips then notices John never does. "Why don't you ever have chapped lips?"asks Bill. John answers, "It's simple - watch..." John drops his pants, bends over and sticks his finger up his butt, then rubs his finger all over his lips. "Does that keep you from getting chapped lips"? Bill askes, "No" replies John, "but it sure keeps me from licking them"!