Liven Jokes

What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? Invite an accountant.

How to liven up Thanksgiving dinner...
Open the oven, shove hunks of velveeta into the turkey while it cooks. Tell mom it adds the coolest flavor.
Shoot olive pits at Grampa's glasses (just pinch them in your fingers and they FLY!!)
Whenever someone at the table says a word beginning with the letter R, make a loud ''BUZZ''ing noise.
Bring along old recorded football games, pop them in the VCR when Dad's not looking.
Suck your cranberry sauce loudly through a straw.
Bring a date that only talks about her/his spouse at home.
Hold your nose while you eat.
Recite the tragic and abusive conditions known to exist at turkey farms.
Mid-meal turn to mom and say, ''See mom, I told you they wouldn't notice, you were worried for nothing''.
Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss it all in the blender, and take your ''shake'' back to the table.
Announce that you've got a new fear of choking.
When you arrive, promise that your date more...