Load Jokes / Recent Jokes

A bus load of attorneys were driving down a country road when all of a sudden the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer after seeing what happened went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the attorneys.
A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and then asked the old farmer, "Were they all dead?"
The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them attorneys lie."

A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.
“You look hot, my son, ” said the cleric. “why don’t you rest a moment, and I’ll give you a hand. ”
“No thanks, ” said the young man.
“My father wouldn’t like it. ”
“Don’t be silly, ” the minister said.
“Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water. ”
Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, “Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I’ll give him a piece of my mind! ”
“Well, ” replied the young farmer, “he’s under the load of hay. ”

A boat load filled with Viagra sank in Baltimore Harbor. They could not get the draw bridges down for a week.

A clergyman, walking down a country lane, sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.
"You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "Why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand."
"No thanks," said the young man. "My father wouldn't like it."
"Don't be silly," the minister said. "Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water."
Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!"
"Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the load of hay."

This Australian truck driver is looking for a long distance driving job in Adelaide. He gets offered a job driving a load of bowling balls to Darwin. He's not too keen on this, but he needs the money and so takes off.
A while along the highway he sees two Aborigines with a bike, in the middle of nowhere, so he stops and asks if they would like a lift. They say OK. The truck driver says, "All right, hop in, but you'll have to ride in the back."
A 100 km down the road he stops at a truck stop, which amongst other things, involves a load inspection by the local cops. He is asked where he is off to and he says, "Darwin".
The cops go round the back, open the doors, slam them shut quickly and rush round desperately to the driver, saying, "For Chrissake get going to Darwin straight away, and don't stop - two of your eggs have already hatched, and one of them has stolen a bike!"

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>
> Father Knows Best
>
> A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital to give birth, and the doctor
> told them that he had developed an experimental machine and asked if they
> would like to try it out.
> He explained carefully that the machine could take some of the pain of
> childbirth from the mother and give it to the biological father.
> Both the husband and the wife thought this was a wonderful idea and decided
> to give it a try.
> The doctor set the knob on the machine at ten percent for starters,
> explaining to the man that even ten percent was probably more pain than he
> had ever experienced.
> But the man was suprised at how litttle pain he felt and asked the doctor
> to go ahead and turn it up a notch.
> The doctor twisted the knob up to twenty percent and checked the husband's
> blood pressure, which was fine.
> Amazed, the doctor turned the knob again and increased the pain more...

A woman found out that her husband was cheating on her while stationed in Saudi a few months ago. So she sends him this care package. He is excited to get a package from his wife back home. He finds that it contains a batch of home made cookies and a VHS tape of his favorite TV shows. He invites a couple of his buddies over and they're all sitting around having a great time eating some cookies and watching some episodes of South Park.
Right in the middle of one episode the tape cuts to a home video of his wife on her knees sucking his best friend's ding dong. After a few seconds, he blows his load in her pie hole and she turns and spits the load right into the mixing bowl of cookie dough. She then looks at the camera and says, "By the way, I want a divorce."