Load Jokes / Recent Jokes
The 10 commandments
The Hebrew people were sitting around Mt. Sinai. You could hear only a subdued murmur among them, but you could feel the tension in the air. For hours now, Moses had been on top of the mountain, hidden from their gaze by clouds wafting around its top. Sometimes the clouds became dark and you could hear thunder rolling down. In spite of the warm weather this always caused a shudder among the waiting mass.
The end of day was approaching and dusk was beginning to set in when suddenly a figure came through the clouds and walked down the steep mountainside carrying a heavy load. It was Moses.
Moses set down his load and raised his hands. "Friends," he said, "friends, it was hard work and I have done my best. I have negotiated with Him. I used every possible argument, every trick I could think of--and I think I was successful. The good news is: I brought him down from fifteen to ten. The bad news is: Adultery is still in."
A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. Approaching the bar, he sees a big sign on the door saying "NERDS NOT ALLOWED - ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!"
He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says he smells kind of nerdy, asks him what he does for a living.
The truck driver says he drives a truck, and the smell is just from the computers he is hauling.
The bartender says OK, truck drivers are not nerds, and serves him a beer.
Sipping his beer, the truck driver watches as a skinny guy walks in complete with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away.
The truck driver asks him why he did that. The bartender said not to worry, the nerds are overpopulating the Silicon Valley, and are in season now.
"You don't even need a license," he more...
Three ducks were to begin migrating south for the winter. The first duck tells the other two ducks that it is the same boring trip every year, so to spice it up, he suggested a little contest. While flying south, the duck that bombs the most people will be the winner. So the first duck flies away and happens upon a county fair. He flies over the crowd of people and drops a load of shit, hitting five people. The second duck flies upon a carnival and he too drops a load of shit, hitting eight people. The third duck flies over a crowd of people, but before he could drop his load he feels and sees something pink stuck in his ass. As the three ducks meet at the South Pole, the first duck brags he hit five people at a county fair. The second duck brags he hit eight people at a carnival. The third duck said,"Just my damn luck, I had to fly over a paintball tournament!"
A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying
"NERDS NOT ALLOWED-ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!"
He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says he smells kind of nerdy, asks him what he does for a living.
The truck driver says he drives a truck, and the smell is just from the computers he is hauling.
The bartender says OK, truck drivers are not nerds, and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long.
The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away.
The truck driver asks him why he did that. The bartender said not to worry, the nerds are over-populating the Silicon Valley, and are in season now. You don't even need a license, he said.
So the truck driver more...
A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him. She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street. At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load."He ignores her again and continues down the street. At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."The trucker looks at her and finally he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, its snowing, and Im driving a salt truck."
A boat load filled with Viagra sank in Baltimore Harbor.They could not get the draw bridges down for a week.
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up.
She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the window.
The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.
When the truck stops for another red light, the blonde catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the window.
Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken before, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck window. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
When the light more...