Locked Jokes / Recent Jokes
Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
There was a blonde who was so dumb that she
a) locked herself in a restroom and wet her pants
b) got locked in a grocery store and starved to death
c) tripped over a cordless phone
d) tried to put m & m's in alphabetical order
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Monday, December 7, 1992Joe Albert Ruiz, 19, was arrested in Santa Maria in September. Police said he had broken into a car in the middle of the night and was in the trunk, disconnecting the rear speakers, when the trunk closed and locked him in.Neighbors reported strange noises, and a police officer called to the scene heard Ruiz banging on the trunk and yelling, "Let me out!"
Q: Did you hear about the Polish man that locked his keys in his car?
A: He had to use a coat hanger to get his family out.
A man was walking home alone one night when he heard a "BUMP....BUMP....BUMP..." behind him. Walking faster, he looked back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards
him...."BUMP...BUMP...BUMP..."The man began to run toward his home, and the coffin bounced after him faster....faster...BUMP BUMP BUMP!He ran up to his door, fumbled with his keys, opened the door, rushed in, and locked it behind him. The coffin crashed through his door, with the lid of the coffin
clapping BUMP...BUMP...BUMP... on the heels of the terrified man. The man rushed upstairs to the bathroom and locked himself in, heart pounding.With a CRASH, the coffin broke down the door, coming slowly toward him. The man while screaming, reached for something, anything....all he can find was a box of cough drops which he hurled at the coffin.... and suddenly "the coffin stops!"
Q: Did you hear about the Polish man that locked his keys in his car? A: He had to use a coat hanger to get his family out.
James and his wife, Martha, are getting ready to leave home for a vacation. Martha started out the door, then stopped, turned around, and said, "James, this time you should go check to see if the coffee pot is off, television plugs are pulled, lamp timers are set, thermostat is adjusted, windows are closed and locked, burglar alarm is on, doors are locked, and I'll go wait in the car and keep blowing the horn."