Loss Jokes / Recent Jokes

The President was visiting a grade school the other day and sat in on an English class. To participate in the class, he asked for someone to give him an example of a tragedy.

A little girl named Peggy held up her hand timidly and said,' If my friend was walking across the street and a car ran over her... well, that would be a tragedy!'

'Well, thank you for trying,' The Prez said.' That would be what we would call an accident, but not a tragedy. Can anybody else give me an example?'

A little boy named Timmy said,' If the school bus was full of kids and a truck hit it and killed all the kids that would be a tragedy.'

'Well, that would be what we call a great loss, but it doesn't quite make the tragic category,' the President replied.

About his time little Johnny held up his hand.' Oh. Oh. I know, I know...' Johnny started.' If you and the Vice President and all the senators and all the congressmen were having a meeting, and a bomb more...

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy". One little boy stands up and offers "If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy.""No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy.""Im afraid not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer. "What?" asks Clinton, "Isnt there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: "If an airplane carrying Bill & Hillary Clinton were blown up by a bomb, T HAT would be tragedy." "Wonderful!" Clinton beams. more...

Give an example of tragedy
Winston Peters is visiting a school.
In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a ''tragedy''. One little boy stands up and offersthat, ''if my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy''.
''No,'' Winston says, ''That would be an ACCIDENT.''
A girl raises her hand. ''If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy''. ''I'm afraid not, ''explains Winston, ''that is what we would call a GREAT LOSS.''
The room is silent, none of the other children volunteer. ''What?'' asks Winston, ''isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?''
Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: ''If an airplane carrying Winston Peters was blown up by a bomb, THAT would be a tragedy''.
''Wonderful!'' Winston beams. ''Marvelous! And can you more...

Bill Clinton was visiting a school. In one class, he asked the students if anyone could give him an example of a tragedy.
One little boy stood up and offered,' If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy.'
'No,' said Clinton,' that would be an accident.'
A girl raised her hand and said,' If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved. .. that would be a tragedy.'
'I am afraid not,' explained Clinton.' That is what we would call a great loss.'
The room was silent; and none of the other children volunteered.
'What?' asked Clinton,' Isn't there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'
Finally a boy in the back raised his hand. In a timid voice, he said,' If an airplane carrying Hillary Clinton and you was blown up by a bomb, that would be a tragedy.'
'Wonderful!' Clinton beamed:' Marvelous! And can you tell me why more...

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy." One little boy stands up and offers that, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street when a car came by and killed him, that would be a tragedy."
"No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."
A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone inside... that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."
The room is silent; none of the other children dare volunteer.
"What?" asks Clinton, "Isn't there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: "If an airplane carrying Bill and Hillary Clinton was blown up by a bomb, *that* would be a more...

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During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the little animals. The big animals were crushing little animals and at half-time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals.
At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first play, the elephant got stopped for no gain. The second play, the rhino was stopped for no gain. On third down, the hippo was thrown for a 5 yard loss.
The defense huddled around the coach and he asked excitedly, "Who stopped the elephant?"
"I did," said the centipede.
"Who stopped the rhino?"
"Uh, that was me too," said the centipede.
"And how about the hippo? Who hit him for a 5 yard loss?"
"Well, that was me as well," said the centipede.
"So where were you during the first half?" demanded the coach.
"Well," said the centipede, "I was having my ankles more...