Luigi Jokes / Recent Jokes
December 1stTO: ALL EMPLOYEESI'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols. .. feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10. Merry Christmas to you and your family. Patty Lewis - Human Resources DirectorDecember 2ndTO: ALL EMPLOYEESIn no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung. Happy Holidays to you and your more...
Mario: Do you like ugly, fat women?
Luigi: Of course not.
Mario: You don't? But do you like women with fat, hairy butts?
Luigi: No, not at all.
Mario: Really? And you don't like women with sagging breasts?
Luigi: Absolutely not.
Mario: Why do you sleep with my wife, then?
Subject: The Office Party
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: Everyone
RE: Christmas Party
DATE: December 1
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't Be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 2
RE: Christmas Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time.
Happy now?
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources more...
Luigi comes to America and succeeds in becoming a millionaire. One
day Luigi says to himself:"Luigi, you; re an intelligent boy, you make a
million in America, now you are gonna make one woman happy."So he has his
picture taken in the nude, in the buff, naked.
When he views the proofs, he exclaims,"Luigi, you're an intelligent boy
who make a million in America, I'm gonna make two women happy. "He cuts
the picture in half. "I'm gonna send the top half to my Mamma, and the
bottom half to my girlfriend.
In addressing and sealing the envelopes he gets the pictures mixed;
the top half goes to his girlfriend, the bottom half to his ageing
mother.
His girlfriend receives her letter and exclaims while gazing at her half
of the picture "That's my Luigi, handsome Italian boy, make a million in
America"
His mother on the other hand receives her letter and bottom portion of
the nude more...
FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
TO: Everyone
RE: Christmas Party
DATE: December 1
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 2
RE: Christmas Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. Happy now?
FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources more...
Luigi leased an apartment and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe.
Luigi smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.
Poor Luigi broke out into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."
He followed her into her apartment. She closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"
Flustered and embarrassed, Luigi finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears!"
Astounded and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural! I work out every day! My butt is firm and solid! more...