Lungs Jokes / Recent Jokes

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "NO! I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology, and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?!"

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, ''Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?''
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, ''No, I won't sleep with you tonight!'' Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.
Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, ''I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.''
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, ''What do you mean, $200?''

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.
The brain said, " I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."
The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, " We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.
Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral of the story: You don't need more...

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.The brain said, " I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."The hands said, " We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit! Moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole more...

THE SHY GUY


A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman
sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage,
he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively.
"Um, Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?

To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs,
"No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"

Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally,
the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he
slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman
walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says,
"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate
student in psychology and I'm studying how people
respond to embarrassing situations."

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs,
"What do you mean $200?"
***********************Hope you enjoied by reading************

Once there was a preacher's wife who went into a bakery and asked the butcher waht the daily special was. He said it was the "damn ham."She immediatly started yelling at the top of her lungs."HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT I'M THE PREACHER'S WIFE!"The butcher was totally taken back by this while he wimpered, "Oh, no ma'am it's called the 'damn ham.'" She bought one of the hams.Later that day when the preacher got home he smelled the ham cooking and asked his wife what it was. She replied that it was the "damn ham." He also immediatly started yelling at the top of his lungs."HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT I'M THE PREACHER!"She was also taken back by this and wimpered that it was the "damn ham."At dinner that night they were eating dinner with their kids and they, too, asked what this delicoius meal was. Their father (the preacher) said that it was the "damn ham."Their son was quite happy with this. In fact he more...

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, " I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions." The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, " We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit! Moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a Boss - any more...