Marge Jokes / Recent Jokes

An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket girl said, "Sir, what is that on your shoulder?" The old farmer said, "That is my pet rooster, Chuckie. Wherever I go, Chuckie goes." "I'm sorry, Sir," said the ticket girl, "We can't allow animals in the theater. Not even a pet chicken." The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the chicken down his pants. He returned to the booth, bought a ticket and entered the theater. He sat down next to two old emergency room nurses named Mildred and Marge. The movie started and the chicken began to squirm. The old farmer un-zipped his pants so Chuckie could stick his head out and watch the movie. "Marge," whispered Mildred. "What?" said Marge. "I think the guy next to me is a pervert." "What makes you think so?" asked Marge. "He unzipped his pants and he has his thing out," whispered Mildred. "Well, don't worry about it," said Marge, more...

Customer: "Is this tea I'm drinking? It tastes like kerosene!"
Waitress: "It must be hon, our coffee tastes like turpentine."
A contributor on here sent me chapter one of a joke book she's planning to publish, and asked me what she should get for it.
I wrote back, "At least 6 months."
The boy had been sitting in the restaurant for 20 minutes while his date continued to stare at the menu. "Jody, do you always have such difficulty in making up your mind?"
"Well... yes and no." she replied.
"I'm telling ya Marge, there's nothing like a five mile jog, then, an ice cold shower to start your day off in the morning."
Marge looked at her obviously overweight friend and replied, "How long have you been doing this?"
"I start tomorrow!" she answered.
A New York boy was being led through the swamps of Louisiana by his cousin. "Is it true that an alligator won't attack you if more...

The neighbor dropped in on a friend and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at a half-empty cup of coffee; her three kids squabbling loudly in the other room.
"What's wrong Marge?" she asked.
Marge told her that she had "morning sickness."
Surprised, the neighbor said, "I didn't even know you were pregnant!"
"I'm not." the harried young woman replied. "I'm just damn sick of mornings."

An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket girl said, "Sir, what is that on your shoulder?"
The old farmer said, "That is my pet rooster, Chuckie. Where ever I go, Chuckie goes."
"I'm sorry, Sir," said the ticket girl, "We can't allow animals in the theater. Not even a pet chicken."
The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the chicken down his pants. He returned to the booth, bought a ticket and entered the theater.
He sat down next to two old emergency room nurses named Mildred and Marge. The movie started and the chicken began to squirm. The old farmer unzipped his pants so Chuckie could stick his head out and watch the movie.
"Marge," whispered Mildred.
"What?" said Marge.
"I think the guy next to me is a pervert."
"What makes you think so?" asked Marge.
"He unzipped his pants and he has his thing out," whispered more...

Marge Schott, the owner of the Cincinati Reds baseball team, known for her remarkbly insensitive stereotyping, is a joke unto herself... however...
Didja hear that Marge Schott came up to bat the other night?
She was the designated Hitler.