Marry Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dad: The girl whom I showed you is roopvati, gunvati and dhanvati. So you should marry her.
Son: But the girl whom I love is roopvati, dhanvati and garbhvati so I must marry her.

All marriages are happy-it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing. May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. May you learn to perform miracles: earn a living and marry off your daughters. May your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears. Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over." The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage. There is no realizable power that man cannot, in more...

A man with a 25 inch long penis goes to his doctor to complain that he is unable to get any women to have sex with him. They all tell him that his penis is too long.
"Doctor," he asked, in total frustration, "is there any way you can shorten it?"
The doctor replied, "Medically son, there is nothing I can do. But, I do know this witch who may be able to help you."
So the doctor gives him directions to the witch. The man calls upon the witch and relays his story.
"Witch, my penis is 25 inches long and I can't get any women to have sex with me. Can you help me shorten it?"
The witch stares in amazement, scratches her head, and then replies, "I think I have a solution to your problem. What you have to do is go to this pond deep in the forest. In the pond, you will see a frog sitting on a log who can help solve your dilemma. First you must ask the frog, will you marry me? Each time the frog declines your proposal, your more...

All marriages are happy-it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems.Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control.Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions.It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing.May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead.May you learn to perform miracles: earn a living and marry off your daughters.May your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears.Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over."The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage.There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, more...

There is this guy who has a 25 inch dick. He goes to a witch in the woods and asks her if she can make his dick smaller because he just can't please the ladies because it is just too big, he hasn't found a lady yet who likes it and he can't get any pleasure.
She tells him to go into the woods and he will find a frog. When he finds the frog, he is to ask it to marry him. If the frog says no, his cock will shrink 5 inches.
He goes into the woods and finds this frog. He asks "frog, will you marry me?" The frog says "no" And his prick shrinks five inches. The guys thinks to himself, "Wow, that was pretty cool. But, it's still too big." So he goes back to the frog and again asks the frog: "Frog, will you marry me?" Frog: "No, I won't marry you."
The guys dick shrinks another five inches. But that's still 15 inches and he thinks his chop is still just a little bit too big. But he thinks that 10 inches would be just great. He goes more...

A Chinese man had three daughters; he asked his eldest daughter what kind of man she would like to marry."I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest", said the eldest daughter. He then asked his second daughter whom she would like to marry. "I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest", said the second daughter. He finally asked his youngest daughter whom she would like to marry. "I would like to marry a man with one draggin' on the ground", said the youngest daughter.

Why did the 280-pound girl marry the 400-pound man? She wanted a big wedding.