Matronly Jokes

Through the center of Lahore there's the new Indo-Pak train speeding along (Samjhuata Express or whatever - which goes between India and Pak).

In one compartment of the train there are four people.

A beautiful vivacious young woman, an old matronly woman, a Pakistani soldier, and our own Santa Singh.

Suddenly the train goes through a tunnel.

It is completely dark. Then is heard a loud kiss and an equally powerful slap.

When the train exits the tunnel, the Pakistani soldier is holding the side of his face, and Santa Singh is grinning his face off.

The old matronly woman thinks: "Now that's a fine young woman, the Pakistani soldier tries to steal a kiss in the tunnel and the lady slaps him one!"

The young woman is thinking: "Now that's a strange Pakistani soldier, he'd rather kiss that old hag than me."

The Pakistani soldier is thinking: "Now that's a smart Indian, he steals more...

I heard this one from a dissident that our local Amnesty International
group got out:
Through the center of Czechoslovakia there a train speeding along. In one
compartment of the train there are four people. A beautiful vivacious young
woman, an old matronly woman, a Russian soldier, and a Czech dissident.
Suddenly the train goes through a tunnel.
It is completely dark.
Then is heard a loud kiss and an equally powerful slap.
When the train exits the tunnel, the Russian soldier is holding the side of his
face, and the Czech dissident is grinning his face off.
The old matronly woman thinks: "Now that's a fine young woman, the Russian
soldier tries to steal a kiss in the tunnel and the lady slaps him one!"
The young woman is thinking: "Now that's a strange Russian soldier, he'd
rather kiss that old hag than me."
The Russian soldier is thinking: "Now that's a smart Czech, he steals the kiss
and I get more...