Merlin Jokes

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Don Juan were having a terrible fight.
"I am the most beautiful person in the world," proclaimed Sleeping Beauty.
"No, you're not," answered Don Juan and Tom Thumb.
"I am the smallest person in the world," shouted Tom Thumb.
"No, you're not," said Sleeping Beauty and Don Juan
"I have had more lovers than any person in the world," announced Don Juan.
"No, you haven't" replied Tom Thumb and Sleeping Beauty.
Well, they decided that if the three were to get along, they needed a mediator, and decided that Merlin, clearly the smartest person in the world, would be ideal. Merlin agreed and summoned them all to his palace, where he announced he would meet with them one at a time.
Sleeping Beauty went in first and not a minute later came out beaming.
"I am the most beautiful person in the world, Merlin said so."
In went Tom Thumb and out he came as more...

A Chap walks up to another chap and says:
Chap - You're Merlin aren't you?
Merlin - Why yes. . it's nice to be recognised!
Chap - Bit of a Wizard. . I hear?
Merlin - Well Yes. . I've been told I'm skilled
Chap - Do tricks and things. . don't ya.. Magical stuff?
Merlin - Magical. .. yes that's correct
Chap - Turn Kings into Frogs. . and that sort of thing. . Is that right
Merlin - Well Yes. . I suppose I could Turn a King into a Frog!
Chap - Ever Mucked up. . Ya know, made a mistake?
Merlin - Well Yes. .. hasn't everyone?
Chap - Can you reverse a curse?
Merlin - Yes I can. .. with knowledge of who applied the Curse and the actual words of enchantment, I could do it. ... Why?
Chap - I'm Cursed
Merlin - Really. .. and how long have you been bewitched?
Chap - Years.....
Merlin - Do you know the words spoken over you to lay this curse?
Chap - Yeah. . can't forget them!
Merlin - What were more...

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo got into a terrible argument.
"I am the most beautiful person in the world," proclaimed Sleeping Beauty.
"No, you're not," said Quasimodo and Tom Thumb in unison.
"I am the smallest person in the world," shouted Tom Thumb.
"No, you're not," said Sleeping Beauty and Quasimodo.
"I am the ugliest person in the world," announced Quasimodo.
"No, you're not," said Tom Thumb and Sleeping Beauty.
They decided they needed a mediator in order to get along. Merlin, clearly the smartest person in the world, was the ideal choice. Merlin summoned the trio to his palace, where he met with them individually.
Sleeping Beauty entered first and emerged just a moment later, beaming. "I am the most beautiful person in the world. Merlin said so."
Tom Thumb was next. He returned just as quickly and declared, "I am the smallest person in the world. Merlin more...

The Great Debate
Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Don Juan were having a terrible fight. "I am the most beautiful person in the world," proclaimed Sleeping Beauty. "No, you're not," answered Don Juan and Tom Thumb. I am the smallest person in the world," shouted Tom Thumb. "No, you're not," said Sleeping Beauty and Don Juan "I've had more lovers than any person in the world," announced Don Juan. "No, you haven't" replied Tom Thumb and Sleeping Beauty.
Well, they decided that if the three were to get along, they needed a mediator, and decided that Merlin, clearly the smartest person in the world, would be ideal. Merlin agreed and summoned them all to his palace, where he announced he would meet with them one at a time.
Sleeping Beauty went in first and not a minute later came out beaming. "I am the most beautiful person in the world, Merlin said so." In went Tom Thumb and out he came as quickly as had Sleeping more...

King Arthur was getting ready to go on a Quest. He was worried about leaving his beautiful Queen Guinevere alone with all those lonely Knights of the Round Table. So he went to his famous wizard, Merlin, for some advice.
After explaining his predicament to Merlin, the wizard looked thoughtful and said to come back in a week and he'd see if he could come up with something.
A week later King Arthur was back in Merlin's laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention.
It was a chastity belt... except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place. "This is no good, Merlin!" the king exclaimed, "Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect m'lady, the Queen?"
"Ah, sire, just observe." said Merlin as he searched his cluttered workbench until he found what he was looking for. He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He then inserted it in the gaping aperture of the more...