Merry Jokes / Recent Jokes
Yo Mama is like a merry go round everyone gets a spin!
Hey folks Well, new photo gallery is up. I am still editing the photos so thats taking a while - only 1200 to go!!: ) please be patient. Getting harder all the time to find good funny NEW jokes. most of what I see everywhere is versions of the same thing!: ) I'll keep hunting.. You can enjoy the 3000 jokes already here!! Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!!
Margo
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!
What did one Angel say to the other?
Halo there!
How to cats greet each other at Christmas?
"A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year"!
What do elephants sing at Christmas?
No-elephants, no elephants!
What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards?
Best vicious of the season
What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?
Cross mouse cards!
How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
A merry Christmas to ewe
What does Father Christmas write on his Christmas cards?
ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (No-L! !)!
How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad!
Dear Darling Son (and That Person You Married),
Merry Christmas to you, and please don’t worry. I’m just fine considering I can’t breathe or eat. The important thing is that you have a nice holiday, thousands of miles away from your ailing mother. I’ve sent along my last ten dollars in this card, which I hope you’ll spend on my grandchildren. God knows their mother never buys them anything nice. They look so thin in their pictures, poor babies.
Thank you so much for the Christmas flowers, dear boy. I put them in the freezer so they’ll stay fresh for my grave. Which reminds me - we buried Grandma last week. I know she died years ago, but I got to yearning for a good funeral so Aunt Viola and I dug her up and had the services all over again. I would have invited you, but I know that woman you live with would have never let you come.
Well son, it’s time for me to crawl off to bed now. I lost my cane beating off muggers last week, but don’t you worry about more...
Horses in the race are:
1. Passionate Lady
2. Bare Belly
3. Silk Panties
4. Conscience
5. Jockey Shorts
6. Clean Sheets
7. Smooth Thighs
8. Big Johnson
9. Heavy Bosom
10. Merry Cherry
Place your bets.
And they're off!
Conscience is left behind at the post. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is being pressured.
Passionate Lady is caught between Smooth Thighs and Big Johnson in a very tight spot.
At the halfway mark it's Bare Belly on top. Smooth Thighs open up and Big Johnson is pressed in. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Smooth Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Johnson.
At the stretch Merry Cherry cracks under the strain. Big Johnson is making a final drive. Passionate Lady is coming.
At the finish it's Big Johnson giving everything he's got and
Passionate Lady taking more...
Happy Solstice, Happy Hanukkah,
Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanza
Sorry for the delay... our Legal Department just
approved the following Holiday Greeting:
To All HumorMatters Readers:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best
wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible,
low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the
winter solstice holiday(tm), practiced within the most enjoyable
traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular
practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular
persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to
practice religious or secular traditions at all. . . and a fiscally
successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition
of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2000, but not without
due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures more...