Meter Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day all the scientists in heaven decided to play hide-n-seek. Einstein was "it" and had to count up to 100 and then start searching.

Einstein starts counting... "1,2,3..."

Everyone starts hiding except Newton who just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein.

"97,98,99... 100!" He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front.

Einstein immediately sees him and starts yelling, "Newton's out! Newton's out!"

Newton denies and says, "I am not out. I am not Newton."

All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton.

Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared. That makes me Newton per meter squared since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal. Therefore, Pascal is OUT!"

A decrepit old gas man named Peter
While hunting around for the meter
His torch he did light
He arose out of sight
And, of course, as a result, he totally, completely and utterly destroyed the meter!

1) Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.2) The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.3) I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my hand through it.4) I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.5) A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.6) A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.7) I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the other way.8) I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.9) In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.10) I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision.11) I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.12) I was on my way to the doctors more...

There is this group of 7 Sardars who plan to go to Delhi to thank the President Dr. Zail Singh for his revolutionary policies, from which they have greatly benefited. Moreover, they are his old friends, and are longing to dine with the president. They agree that it would be appropriate to use a taxi. So they go to a taxi driver and ask him how much a ride would cost. The driver frets a little and tells them, "Sahab! If only four of you were to be there I would charge you just the meter rate, but then since seven of you would be there, you have to give me Rs. 10/-more."
The Sardars agree and decide to take the taxi. The taxi driver takes them to Rashtrapati Bhavan. The meter shows Rs. 18/-, so the taxi driver says, "You have to pay me Rs. 28/-."
Now, the Sardars have to share the cost among themselves and so they decide to divide the total (Rs. 28/-) by the number of people, i. e. 7. This is how they do the calculation to arrive at the more...