Missing Jokes / Recent Jokes
Thene new error messages is icluded in the new version of Windows: Vista
1) Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
2) Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
3) Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
4) Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
5) Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.
6) Close your eyes and press escape three times.
7) Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
8) This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
9) Windows message: "You have just made a type mismatch! Shall I format your
brain?"
10) This is a message from God: "Rebooting the universe, please log off."
11) Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
12) BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
13) COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup and press any key.
14) CONGRESS.SYS corrupted... Re-boot Washington D.C? (Y/N)
15) File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
16) Bad more...
Low-bandwidth as an information source.
Lugnuts rattling in the hubcaps.
Made a career out of mid-life crisis.
Mainspring’s wound too tight.
Makes a black hole look bright.
Makes predictions that make weathermen/economists look good.
Memorized every Dr. Seuss story written.
Mental software is Version 1. 0 / still in beta test.
Mentally qualified for handicapped parking.
Metronome needs oil.
Might still be a virgin except for what nature did to her mind.
Mind like a steel sieve.
Mind like a steel trap - everything gets mangled / full of mice / nothing in, nothing out / rusted shut.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
Missing a few catalog cards / gears / marbles.
The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the planned Windows 2000:
1. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
2. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
3. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
4. Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!
5. Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.
6. Close your eyes and press escape three times.
7. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
8. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
9. Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
10. This is a message from God Gates: "Rebooting the world. Please log off."
11. To "shut down" your system, type "WIN."
12. BREAKFAST. SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
13. COFFEE. SYS missing... Insert cup in cup holder and press more...
A Priest was in his room and realized that his rooster was missing. He decided to bring it up in Sunday Mass.
Right before the sermon the Priest asked, "Who has a cock?" All of the men inthe room stood up.
The Priest said, "No, No, No. Who has seen a
cock?" All of the women in the room stood up.
The Priest said, "No, No, No. Who has seen MY COCK?" All of the nuns stood up.
Editor's Note: This is kind of long, and actually considering it's an awful lot like many conversations I've had, not as funny as it might be. But, heck, enjoy it anyhow...
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PeaceNik: Why did you say we are we invading Iraq?
WarMonger: We are invading Iraq because it is in violation of security council resolution 1441. A country cannot be allowed to violate security council resolutions.
PN: But I thought many of our allies, including Israel, were in violation of more security council resolutions than Iraq.
WM: It's not just about UN resolutions. The main point is that Iraq could have weapons of mass destruction, and the first sign of a smoking gun could well be a mushroom cloud over NY.
PN: Mushroom cloud? But I thought the weapons inspectors said Iraq had no nuclear weapons.
WM: Yes, but biological and chemical weapons are the issue.
PN: But I thought Iraq did not have any long more...