Moment Jokes / Recent Jokes
Snowwhite and the Seven Dwarfs are roaming in the forest when
they come across a lake. the water was enticing and Snow-white decides
to take a bath. So she tells the Dwarfs to turn around while she is
preparing to take the bath. Dwarfs protest vehemently and then
Snowwhite relents and says that when i get into the water and u
hear the splash, u can turn around.
Snowwhite undresses and as she is about to jump into water, at that very
moment she is startled by a frog who jumps into water before she can.
The moment the dwarfs hear the SPLASH, the Dwarfs turn around and see Snowwhite standing NAKED.
Now if this incident is a sequel to an ad, what product is being adverised?
Page down for answer NOW.
SEVEN UP
A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.A husband should never question his wife's judgement. Look whom she married! A lifetime in snooker my dearest, it's happened to you, so don't forget to chalk his cue and the first game you play make sure it's at the end of the day.A man is as good as he has to be; a woman as bad as she dares.A man needs a mistress, just to break the monogamy.A wedding is a funeral where a man smells his own flowers.A wedding ring is like a tourniquet; it cuts off your circulation.Advice to submariners: If torpedo overheats, load tube, go deep and eject.Advice to the new bride: You can't be treated like a doormat if you don't line down.Advice to the new bride: Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.Two bits of advice to the new bride: One, tell your new husband that you have to have one night a week out with the girls, and, two, don't waste that night with the girls.After a moment of quite repose It's tum to tum and toes to toes After more...
A new York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven? ” The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, “A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street. ” Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true.
Saint Peter said, “Well, that’s fine, but it’s not really quite enough to get you into Heaven. ” The Lawyer said, “Wait Wait! There’s more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter. ” Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified.
Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, “Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow? ”
Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter,
“Let’s give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell. ”
A new York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?" The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street." Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true. Saint Peter said, "Well, that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get you into Heaven." The Lawyer said, "Wait Wait! There's more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter." Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified. Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?" Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, "Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell." Each man gives a story Three men were standing in line to more...
This Is A True Senior's Moment:
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two elderly gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really
great. I would recommend it very highly."
The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that is red and has thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Oh, yes," the man said, and then he turned toward the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"
Greeting cards are getting expensive, so why not design your very own Hallmark Moment with some these sayings:"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind." "I must admit, you brought religion into my life. I never believed in Hell till I met you." "Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What the heck was I thinking?" "If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister." "As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like the need for therapy...""Thanks for being a part of my life! I never new what evil was before this!""Money is tight, times are hard, here's your @#$/& Christmas card!!!""Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, I would like you to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again." "Sorry things didn't work out, but I can't handle more...
A Moscow queue waiting to buy meat.
What occupies the last 6 pages of the Lada User`s Manual?
The bus and train timetables.
What do you call a Lada on a hill?
A bloody miracle.
One night, Erich Honnecker was in the bedchamber having some pillow talk with his mistress. He was in a magnanimous mood and offered her a present of her choice. She thought about his offer for a moment and then replied, "Oh, Erich, if there is one thing I would like you to do for me, it is this: open the borders just for one day." Honnecker said, "Of course, my dear," but was a bit puzzled by her request. He asked, "But why would you have me do such a thing?" The mistress replied, "I want to be alone with you."
Every philosophy is like looking for a black cat in a dark room; Marxist philosophy is like looking for a black cat in a dark room, but the cat isn`t there; Soviet philosophy is like looking for a black cat in a dark room, the cat more...