Morris Jokes / Recent Jokes

Morris, the Governor's most trusted assistant, died in his sleep one night. The Governor had depended on Morris for advice on every subject, from pending bills to wardrobe decisions. In addition, Morris had been his closest friend.So, it was understandable that the Governor didn't take kindly to the droves of ambitious office seekers who wanted Morris' job. "They don't even have the decency to wait until the man is buried," the Governor muttered.At the funeral, one eager beaver made his way to the Governor's side. "Governor," the man said, "is there a chance that I could take Morris' place?""Certainly," the governor replied. "But you'd better hurry. I think the undertaker is almost finished."

"Well, hello there, little boy. What's your name?"
"Morris."
"Morris? Morris what? What's your last name?"
"My last name? Uh....oh, I know: Morris Stop That Immediately."

Morris was passing a small courtyard and heard voices murmuring. He went in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle anda banner that said' N I L'. White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymnsto The Great Nullity, The Blessed Emptiness, and The Big Zero inthe Sky. Morris turned to a white-robed observer beside him and wispered,..... ..... "Is Nothing Sacred?"

Morris comes home to find his wife, Sadie, crying. "I found out from Mrs. Goldberg that you've been having an affair with that chippie secretary in your office. Why would you do that to me? Haven't I always been the good wife? I've cooked for you, raised your children, and I've always been by your side for thirty-five years. What haven't I done to make you happy?"
Embarrassed, Morris confesses, "It's true, Sadie, you've been the best wife a man could hope for. You make me happy in all ways but one. You don't moan when we have sex!"
"If I moaned when we had sex, you'd stop running around? All right, come to the bedroom so I can show you that I, too, can moan during sex!"
So they retire to the bedroom, get undressed, and climb beneath the sheets.
As they begin to kiss, Sadie asks, "Now, Morris, should I moan now?"
"No, not yet."
Morris begins fondling Sadie. "What about now? Should I moan now?" No, I'll more...

Morris, the Governor's most trusted assistant, died in his sleep one night. The Governor had depended on Morris for advice on every subject, from pending bills to wardrobe decisions. In addition, Morris had been his closest friend. So, it was understandable that the Governor didn't take kindly to the droves of ambitious office seekers who wanted Morris' job. "They don't even have the decency to wait until the man is buried," the Governor muttered. At the funeral, one eager beaver made his way to the Governor's side. "Governor," the man said, "is there a chance that I could take Morris' place?" "Certainly," the governor replied. "But you'd better hurry. I think the undertaker is almost finished."

Morris complained to his friend Irving, that love making with his wife was becoming routine and boring.
"Get creative Morris. Break up the monotony.
Why don't you try 'playing doctor' for an hour? That's what I do," said Irving.
"Sounds great," Morris replied, "but how do you make it last for an hour?"
"That's easy...just keep her in the waiting room for 59 minutes!"

Morris complained to his friend Irving, that love making with his wife was becoming routine and boring."Get creative Morris. Break up the monotony.Why don't you try 'playing doctor' for an hour? That's what I do," said Irving."Sounds great," Morris replied, "but how do you make it last for an hour?""That's easy...just keep her in the waiting room for 59 minutes!"