Mountains Jokes / Recent Jokes

So Ole was hiking in the mountains of Norway and he slips on a wet rock and he falls over the edge of a five-hundred-foot cliff, and he falls twenty feet and he grabs hold of a bush that`s growing out of a rock. And there he is, he`s hanging looking down at this deep fjord down below him certain death and his hands start to perspire and he starts to slip on this bush and he yells out, "Is anybody up there?" And he heard a deep voice rings out in the fjord, "I`m here, Ole. It`s the Lord, Ole. Have faith. Let go of that bush and I will save you." Ole looked down, and he looked up, and he says, "Is anyone else up there?"

Two old friends from the mountains ran into each other at thelocal bar. One said, "Heard ya went to the big city Jeb." Hisfriend replied, "Yep. Even tried me out one of those 'loosewomen' ya always hear about." "You don't say." said the firstman. "Bet that was costly." "Nope." Jeb smirked. "Kinfolk."at thelocal bar. One said, "Heard ya went to the big city Jeb." Hisfriend replied, "Yep. Even tried me out one of those 'loosewomen' ya always hear about." "You don't say." said the firstman. "Bet that was costly." "Nope." Jeb smirked. "Kinfolk."

Faith may move mountains but it was the whip that built the pyramids.

Bill Gates can choose his punishmentBill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well Bill, I`m really confused on this one. It`s a tough decision; I`m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows `95 among other indiscretions. I believe I`ll do something I`ve never done before; I`ll let you decide where you want to go."

Bill pushed up his glasses, looked up at God and replied, "Could you briefly explain the difference between the two?" Looking slightly puzzled, God said, "Better yet, why don`t I let you visit both places briefly, then you can make your decision. Which do you choose to see first, Heaven or Hell?"

Bill played with his pocket protector for a moment, then looked back at God and said, "I think I`ll try Hell first." more...

The Rocky Mountains are very big and far apart. It takes a long time for an echo to bounce back off one of these mountains. One night, a camper in the Rockies went to sleep early. But before climbing into his sleeping bag he yelled,' Time to get up.' And eight hours later the echo came back and woke him up!

Two old friends from the mountains ran into each other at thelocal bar. One said, "Heard ya went to the big city Jeb." Hisfriend replied, "Yep. Even tried me out one of those' loosewomen' ya always hear about." "You don't say." said the firstman. "Bet that was costly." "Nope." Jeb smirked. "Kinfolk." at thelocal bar. One said, "Heard ya went to the big city Jeb." Hisfriend replied, "Yep. Even tried me out one of those' loosewomen' ya always hear about." "You don't say." said the firstman. "Bet that was costly." "Nope." Jeb smirked. "Kinfolk."

One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certfiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.

The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.

The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked "Am I my more...