Mule Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man from the city is out plowing his field and gets his tractor stuck in the wet ground. A farmer driving by stops his truck and walks to the fence to call over the city feller. You need a mule to plow such wet ground he says." Where can I buy one?" he is asked. Well, I just happened to have one for 100 dollars he says." I'll take him," says the other man as he counts out the money. I can't bring him over today. I don't work on Sunday morrow OK?" Sure." The next day the truck pulls up and the old farmer gets out. He says, "sorry, bad news." I went out after breakfeast and the mule was dead. The city feller says just give me my money back then." Can't, spent it already!""Well... unload the mule then." "What ya gonna do with him?" "Raffle him off!""Naw, ya cant raffle off a dead mule!""Just watch me us! City fellers know a few tricks." One month goes by and the city feller and farmer more...
The animals were bored. Finally, the lion had an idea. "I know a really exciting game that the humans play called football. I've seen it on T. V."
He proceeded to describe it to the rest of the animals and they all got excited about it so they decided to play. They went out to the field and chose up teams and were ready to begin.
The lion's team received. They were able to get two first downs and then had to punt. The mule punted and the rhino was back deep for the kick. He caught the ball, lowered his head and charged. First, he crushed a roadrunner, then two rabbits. He gored a wildebeast, knocked over two cows, and broke through to daylight, scoring six.
Unfortunately, they lacked a placekicker, and the score remained 6 - 0.
Late in the first half the lion's team scored a touchdown and the mule kicked the extra point. The lion's team led at halftime 7 - 6. In the locker room, the lion gave a peptalk.
"Look more...
Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident,' I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer. Farmer Joe responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the..." "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident,' I'm fine'?". Farmer Joe said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road..." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to more...
Farmer John was injured when a truck hit his pick-up, and he filed a lawsuit against the driver who hit him. When the case went to trial, the truck driver's big city lawyer questioned farmer John."After the accident, did you not say to the sheriff's deputy,' I'm fine'?" asked the lawyer.
Farmer John answered, "Well I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the...."
"I did not ask you about your mule," the lawyer interrupted, "I asked you about your statement to the sheriff's deputy. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident,' I'm fine'?"
Farmer John answered, "Like I was saying, I loaded Bessie into the trailer, and I hitched it to my pick-up truck...."
The lawyer angrily turned to the judge. "Your honor, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the sheriff's deputy on the scene that he was just fine. Now, many months after the more...
Q: What do you call a mule that isn't very smart?
A: A stupid mule.
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A preacher who wanted to raise money for his church was told there was a fortune in horse racing, so he decided to buy a horse and enter it in a race. However, at the local auction the going price for horses was so steep that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured, however, that since he had it he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, in the first race his mule came in second. The next day the racing sheets carried this headline: PREACHER'S ASS SHOWSThe preacher was so pleased that he entered the mule in another race. This time it won and the paper said: PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONTThe bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The new headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASSThis was too much for the bishop and he ordered the preacher to get rid of the animal. The preacher gave it to a nun in a nearby convent. The headline the next day said: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWNThe more...
Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"' 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the--"' 'I didn't ask for any details,'' the lawyer interrupted.' 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"' 'Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road--''' 'Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'' By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and more...