Multiply Jokes

After it was all over and Noah lowered the ramp of the ark for all the
animals to leave, he told the animals "To go forth and multiply."All the animals left except two snakes who lay quietly in the corner of the
ark."Why can't you go forth and multiply?" demanded Noah."We can't," answered the snakes. "We're adders."

When Mrs. Smith came home one night she was horrified to find her son with his hands round his pet rabbit's neck, shaking it and shouting, "Come on then. What's five and three?

"Stop it at once," she yelled. "What are you doing?"

"Well, teacher told us that rabbits could multiply quickly. This one can't even add five and three."

DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read. .
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would
like to go out to eat.
(more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1757... If you haven't, add 1756.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number.
The first digit of this was your original number. ( I. e., How many
times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)
The next two numbers are
YOUR AGE!
(Oh YES, it is!)
THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2007) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS

Here is a math trick so unbelievable that it will stump you. Personally I would like to know who came up with this and why that person is not running the country. I wonder what it means...
1. Grab a calculator. (You won't be able to do this one in your head)
2. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the area code)
3. Multiply by 80
4. Add 1
5. Multiply by 250
6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number
7. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again.
8. Subtract 250
9. Divide number by 2
Do you recognize the answer?

TEST:
***
DO NOT SKIP AHEAD. Read this message ONE LINE AT A TIME and just do what it says. You will be glad you did. If not, you'll feel like an idiot and wish you had listened.
***
1) pick a number from 1-9
2) subtract 5
3) multiply by 3
4) square the number (multiply by the same number - not square root) and if it's negative make it positive.
5) add the digits until you get only one digit (i.e. 64=6 4= 10= 1 0=1)
6) if the number is less than 5, add five. Otherwise subtract 4.
7) multiply by 2
8) subtract 6
9) map the digit to a letter in the alphabet 1=A, 2=B, 3=C, etc...
10) pick a name of a country that begins with that letter
11) take the second letter in the country name and think of a mammal that begins with that letter
12) think of the color of that mammal
***
DO NOT SCROLL DOWN UNTIL YOU HAVE DONE ALL OF THE ABOVE
Here it comes, NO CHEATING or you'll be sorry...
You have a grey elephant from Denmark!