Muss Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Mexican was finally caught on the borderline of the US by an American cop.
The Mexican begged, "Pleese, siir. I muss stay here in America. I muss!"
But the American still wasn't convinced. So, the Mexican pleaded more and more with very bad English. At last, the cop, assuming the Mexican's English couldn't get any worst, said to the Mexican, "I will let you stay if you can use 3 words in one sentence."
The Mexican thought for a while, and replied, "Is all right. I say. I say."
The cop said, "The words are: Green, pink and yellow."
After a few seconds of consideration, the Mexican responded, "Da phone - it rang: Green, green, green. I pink it up and sez, 'yellow?'"

Everyday when papers looking, I am very sad, They
are telling in Sri Lanka, English very bad, Is
this all a humbug mister, sometimes very true,
So I want to tell and give you, exactly what to do.
Olden times when we were children, in the village school,
Pappa tole muss learn the English, otherwise you fool,
Those days teachers taking trouble, taught the English well,
If I do not do the homework, they are playing the hell.
Nowadays have Shramadana, in the sun muss dig,
Other times too much torking, classes very big,
Principal is absent always, teachers putting part,
Boys are taking O/L, but only pass in art.
You must tell our Minister, soon to put a rule,
Give the English Education, nicely in the school,
Then the children will improve, learning very well you see,

Getting jobs and easy money, happy juss like me.
Now I am an English teach er, I can now enjoy,
So I am doing better job, than any more...