Naked Jokes / Recent Jokes

Courage is walking naked through a cannibal village.

A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?"

The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times.

"One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream."

So I picked up the frog and it said, "Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes."

So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.

She said, "You now have 3 wishes."

I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, "I want a body like Arnold more...

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day the day you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the following day.
So the next day at 12: 01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven. The angel at the gate, remembering about the new law, promptly asked the man, "Before I can let you in, I need you to tell me about the day you died."
"No problem," said the man. "Well, for some time now, I've thought my wife was having an affair. I believed that each day on her lunch hour, she'd bring her lover home to our 25th floor apartment and have sex with him. So today I was going to come home too and catch them. Well, I got there and busted in and immediately began searching for this guy. My wife was half naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. But, I couldn't find him! Just as I was about to give up, I more...

Two friends had arranged a round of golf and were now on the first tee, preparing to start their game at 7 a. m. Just as the first was half way up his backswing, a good looking young lady ran across the course about 10 yards in front of him, peeling off her clothes as she went until she was totally naked. As she disappeared into the woods he turned, dazed, to his companion, "What was that about?!!!" "Take no notice. Just get on with the game," replied the other. Settling down and lining up for his drive, the first golfer then noticed four men in white coats running across the course on a similar track to the young lady. "What......?!?" "Look. Just get on with the game," said the second. "We don't have all day, and you know the course closes at 9 p. m.," the second says with a chuckle. For the third time the golfer squared up to the ball, only to be distracted by another man in a white coat running across the fairway, lugging two more...

TOP TEN REASONS TO GO TO WORK NAKED...1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.3. "I`d love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.5. You want to see if it`s like the dream.6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.7. People stop stealing your pens after they`ve seen where you keep them.8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.10. No one steals your chair.

A man was out walking one day and went by a retirement home. As he passed the front lawn, he saw nine old ladies, basking in the sun in lounge chairs. When he looked closer, he realized that they were all stark naked.
He went to the door and rang the bell. When the director answered the door, the man asked if he realized there were nine naked old ladies laying in the sun on the front lawn.
The director said, "Yes," and went on to explain that the old ladies were all retired prostitutes living at the retirement home, and they were having a yard sale.

Guy: If i saw u naked I'd die happy.. Girl: If i saw you naked I'd die laughing!!