Name Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man walked into a bar and ordered a glass of white wine. He took a sip of the wine, then tossed the
remainder the bartender's face.
Before the bartender could recover from the surprise, the man began weeping. "I'm really sorry. I
keep doing that to bartenders. I can't tell you how embarrassing it is to have a compulsion like
this."
Far from being angry, the bartender was sympathetic. Before long, he was suggesting that the man see
a psychoanalyst about his problem.
"I happen to have the name of a psychoanalyst," the bartender said. "My brother and my wife have both
been treated by him, and they say he's as good as they come." The man wrote down the name of the
doctor, thanked the bartender, and left. The bartender smiled, knowing he'd done a good deed for a
fellow human being.
Six months later, the man was back. "Did you do what I suggested?" the bartender asked, serving the
glass of more...

In the mid-sixties, there was a hippy named Benny in San Francisco.
Benny was real hip, but he just couldn't grow a beard like the rest of the flower child guys in Haight-Ashbury (Hashbury).
One day Benny met up with a Gypsy Lady who liked him enough to grant him a wish, so, naturally, Benny wished for a beard.
Gypsy Lady granted the wish but warned Benny to ALWAYS wear the beard, never cut it off.
Well, the years went by, the flower children aged, the hippoy movement sorta died out, Benny went on to a career as a successful financial adviser.
Benny decided the beard no longer fit his image so, ignoring the Gypsy Lady`s warnings, he shaved it off.
**POOF** Benny disintegrated into a pile of ashes, the janitor swept him up and deposited him in a jar.
Moral of the story: A Benny shaved is a Benny urned.

You know that Camp doesnt mean a cabin in the woods. The men in your family were gardeners, farmers or produce workers. The women in your family were seamstresses, domestic workers or farm laborers. Your Issei grandparents had an arranged marriage. One of your relatives was a "picture bride." You have Nisei relatives named Tak, Tad, George, Harry or Shig. You have Nisei relatives named Keiko, Aiko, Sumi or Mary. Youre Sansei and your name is Janice, Glen, Brian, Bill or Kenji. Youre thinking of naming your Yonsei child, Brittany, Jenny, Lauren, Garett or Brett, with a Japanese middle name. All of your cousins are having hapa kids. You have relatives who live in Hawaii. You belong to a Japanese credit union Wherever you live now, you always come home to the Obon festival. The bushes in your front yard are trimmed into balls. You have a kaki tree in the backyard. You have at least one bag of sembei in the house at all times. You have a Japanese doll in a glass case in your more...

One person from Utter Pradesh (UP) was in Mysore for about four years and his wife in Jaunpur (UP).

At the end of four years he distributed sweets to his colleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son.

His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this happened when our friend was in Mysore and his wife in Jaunpur.

He said it is common in UP that neighbours take care of the wife (good samaritans) when men are away.

The colleagues asked, "What name will you give to the son?"

To which he replied: "If it's the first neighbour who has taken care, then the name would be PAHLAJ.

If it's the second neighbour, then the name would be DWIVEDI, if it is the third neighbour then it would be TRIVEDI, if it is the fourth neighbour then it would be CHATURVEDI and if it's the fifth neighbour PANDEY.

After listening to this, questions followed and what if it is a mixture of more...

Chevrolet Nova didn't do well in Spanish speaking countries... Nova means 'No Go'...
Bacardi concocted a fruity drink with the name 'Pavian' to suggest French chic... but 'Pavian' means 'baboon' in German.
A peanut-packed chocolate bar targeted at Japanese teenagers needing energy while cramming for exams ran headlong into a belief that eating peanuts and chocolate causes nosebleeds.
Parker Pens translated the slogan for its ink, "Avoid Embarassment - Use Quink" into Spanish as "Evite Embarazos - Use Quink"... which also means "Avoid Pregnancy - Use Quink."
When Gerber first started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the USA - the cute baby on the label. Later, when investigating lower than expected sales figures, they found out that it is common practice in Africa to put pictures of the contents on food package labels.
Coors slogan, "Turn it Loose," translated into Spanish as "Suffer From more...

You Know You're From Connecticut When...
You have hiked up a big hill or small mountain at least once for a keg party.
You never went to a bar in high school.
You thought that the only highways were 91 and 84.
You thought everyone couldn't buy beer after 8 pm
You actually thought that Hartford was big
You or someone you know has attended UCONN
You drive a JETTA
You still think that the Whalers are cool.
You have been to Misquamicut and to that little hot dog place.
There is a farm within miles of your house
You thought bars were really for people over 21
Your high school thanksgiving football game was the highlight of your school year.
You don't have an accent when you talk.
You have known at least 2 preppy rich kids from Fairfield who listen to Phish.
You love Hilton Kaderli and your mom cried when he retired.
UConn basketball rules and no one can tell you different
You have deer in your backyard.
You didn't more...

Five toads arrived at the Heaven's Gates. The man in charge asked for each toad's name and what they had been doing.
The first gave his name and said he had been going in and out of puddles. The man let him through the gate.
He interrogated the next three toads and all three too said they had been going in and out of puddles. Since there was nothing wrong, the man let them all in.
Then he reached the last toad. She was a pretty one, in toad's sense, and when asked what her name was, she replied, "Puddles."