Nation Jokes / Recent Jokes

This anecdote is of Bihari-Bengali linguistic misunderstandings. It is about the spelling of the word' assassination'.

A boy who was having trouble remembering the sequence of letters was provided with the following formula in Bengali: Gadhar upurey gadha, tar upurey ami, amar upurey nation (an ass upon another ass, followed by me, followed by nation.)

(Be read when using the Willy voice in your head)SUBJ: Clinton's Address to the NationText from Clinton's Address to the Nation if he were on truth serum. 10. 16 P. m. ET (0216 GMT) August 17, 1998Good evening. This afternoon in this room, from this chair, in this very spot, I was forced to testify before the Office of Independent Counsel and the grand jury. I answered their questions truthfully whenever there was compelling physical evidence that would contradict my lies, including questions about having sex while watching an intern do kinky things that I now spin as being part of my private life, questions so embarrassing that no American citizen would ever want to answer. Still, the polls indicate that I must take complete responsibility for all my actions, both public and private. And that is why I am speaking to you tonight and not ducking questions while the Marine Band plays loudly and drowns out the media. As you know, in a deposition in January, I was asked questions about my more...

Eight ways to tell if you should vote One Nation:

1 You think the stock market has a fence around it

2 You believe Year 10 was the best six years of your life

3 You stare at an orange-juice container because it says "concentrate"

4 You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader

5 You go to a family reunion looking for a date

6 You think the billboard "Say no to crack" means to pull up your jeans

7 You've refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture

8 You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy

Sometime after independence three great leaders of the country -

Mahatma Gandhi, Lal Bahadur Shastri and Jawaharlal Nehru went to heaven.

God asked Lal Bahadur Shastri how many children he had during his time
on earth. He replied saying he had three! Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, God gave Shastri a Mercedes!

Jawaharlal is next and on replying that he had 15 children, God is pretty angry and gives him an inexpensive Maruti.

Sometime later the three see Mahatma Gandhi returning on foot. They ask why God hadn’t given him anything. Gandhiji replied with anger, “Some idiot told God that I was the father of the nation! “

On Christmas Eve, a young boy with light in his eyes
Looked deep into Santa's, to Santa's surprise
And said as he sat on Santa's broad knee,
"I want your secret. Tell it to me."
He leaned up and whispered in Santa's good ear
"How do you do it, year after year?"
"I want to know how, as you travel about,
Giving gifts here and there, you never run out.
How is it, Dear Santa, that in your pack of toys
You have plenty for all of the world's girls and boys?
Stays so full, never empties, as you make your way
around the whole world, The reindeer pulling your sleigh
From rooftop to rooftop, to homes large and small,
From nation to nation, reaching them all?"
And Santa smiled kindly and said to the boy,
"Don't ask me hard questions. Don't you want a toy?"
But the child shook his head, and Santa could see
That he needed the answer. "Now listen to me,"
He more...

1/20/09: End of an Error
That's OK, I Wasn't Using My Civil Liberties Anyway
Let's Fix Democracy in This Country First
If You Want a Nation Ruled By Religion, Move to Iran
If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President
Hey, Bush Supporters: Embarrassed Yet?
George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids Will Have to Fight
America: One Nation, Under Surveillance
They Call Him "W" So He Can Spell It
Whose God Do You Kill For?
Cheney/Satan '08
Jail to the Chief
No, Seriously, Why Did We Invade Iraq?
Bush: God's Way of Proving Intelligent Design is Full Of Crap
Bad President! No Banana.
We Need a President Who's Fluent In At Least One Language
We're Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them
Is It Vietnam Yet?
Bush Doesn't Care About White People, Either
Where Are We Going? And Why Are We In This Handbasket?
You Elected Him. You Deserve Him.
Impeach Cheney First
Dubya, Your Dad Shoulda Pulled more...

Phil Gramm, a top adviser to Sen. John McCain, on Thursday stood by his comment that the country is in a "mental recession," and said he was trying to say the nation's leaders, not its people, were "whiners."

Pictured here is McCain teaching other Nation leaders the "Right" facial expression to make, when whining.