Nervously Jokes / Recent Jokes

Four people are in an airplane: the president, the smartest man in the world, an old man and a young girl. The plane catches on fire and there are only three parachutes. The president gets one and says, "My country needs me!" and jumps.
The smartest man in the world grabs one and says, "Well, the world needs me, since I'm so smart," and jumps. One parachute left and the old man says, "You take it, my life is almost over anyway." The little girl says, "No. We both can jump." Confused, the man asks, "How?" The little girl says, "The smartest man in the world took my backpack."
The Train Journey II "Four priests board a train for a long journey to a church council conference. Shortly into the trip one priest says, "Well, we've worked together for many years now, but we don't really know each other. I suggest we tell each other one of our sins to get better acquainted."
They look nervously at one more...

A young minister was just starting out at his first pastoral job. He was still very shy and unconfident, having recently graduated Theology Classes in the lower percentile of his class.

His first appointment was to visit one of his members that supposedly was very ill and needed cheering up. This was his first visit to any of his congregation, and he nervously rang the door bell, and heard her call out "come in". He stepped inside the door, removed his hat, and walked toward the part of the house from which he heard the voice.

Seeing the elderly woman relaxing on the sofa, and noticing the thread bare material and sparse furnishings in the house, he quickly, silently, asked the Lord for help.

On the beat up old coffee table in front of the couch, sat asmall clear dish about half full of peanuts. As he sat there talking to the lady, he nervously started eating the nuts, and as he rose to leave, he realized he had eaten every more...

(May not apply towards NRIs returning from Gulf)
10. One who requests the autorickshaw driver to drive slowly and clutches the seat-cushion nervously.
9. One who just bought a case of Bisleri mineral water.
8. One who gets upset if the train is only six hours behind schedule.
7. One who is nervously gazing at the Green channel at the Customs clearance of airport.
6. One who prefers eating fruits to Poori at the train stations.
5. Basically, any man who is changing a baby's diaper.
4. One who does not wait, for the coolie at the train station, and hauls his/her own 30" suitcase.
3. One who feels embarrassed to run after the railway conductor, for reservation.
2. One who says, "say cheese" when taking a picture.
1. One who has gained more FREQUENT FLYER mileage from trips to the toilet.