Newsagent Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde goes into a newsagent's office and asks for her usual paper.
The newsagent says, "Did you know your paper is going to cost more from tomorrow?"
"In that case, I'd better buy ten more of today's!"

He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result. On his way home he pops into the newsagent and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the newsagent "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35" was the reply. "I'm actually 47 years old" the man says, feeling really happy.
After that he goes into the Fish & Chip shop to celebrate. Before leaving, he asks the same question, to which the reply is "Oh, you look about 29" This makes him feel really good.Whilst standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question.
She replies "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a mans age. If I put my hand down your trousers and play with your balls for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."
Being as there was nobody around the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his trousers.
Ten minutes later more...