Notices Jokes / Recent Jokes

To make things easier for all of us, please notice this Important Notice About Notices...
You may have noticed the increased number of notices for you to notice. We notice that some of our notices have been noticed. On the other hand, some of our notices have not been noticed. This is very noticeable. It is noticed that the responses to the notices have been noticeably unnoticeable. This notice is to remind you to notice the notices and respond to the Notices because we do not want the noticed to go unnoticed.

A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a red' 'H'' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor.
"Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue' 'Y'' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green' 'M'' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.
"No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do you ask?"

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now." He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G. E. logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so." "Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right." To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don't think so." "Fine," she says, "Then could you at least fix the steps to the front door? They're about to break." "I'm not a damn carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps," he says. "Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don't think so. I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!!!"So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple hours. He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home and more...

A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch. He doesn't usually help many people so he drives on by. Then he notices that a pretty woman is the driver so he goes back to help. As he is hooking his truck to her car he says, "You know, you are the first pregnant woman I've ever helped out of a ditch"."But I'm not pregnant," she says."Well you're not out of the ditch yet," he says.

Mother Teresa is walking around Heaven one day as she notices Princess Diana passing by. "What a lovely woman," Mother Teresa thought, "doing all those wonderful things for the sick and starving of our world." As Princess Diana passes by, Mother Teresa notices that Diana's halo is much bigger than that of her own. "I had dedicated my entire life on earth to those sick and hungry, and her halo is bigger than mine?!" So, Mother Teresa decides to go find St. Peter and ask him about her problem.
Upon hearing the problem, St. Peter smiles a little and reassures Mother Teresa that,"It's not a halo; that's the steering wheel."

Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When Bill sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair.
They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Clinton in the face.
Confused, Clinton carries on talking as Saddam laughs.
A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Clinton carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries.
But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"
A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the more...

A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar and the best man notices that the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face.
The best man says, ''Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up - you look so excited.''
The groom replies, ''I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me.''
The bride comes walking down the aisle and she, too, has the biggest, brightest smile on her face.
The maid of honor notices this and says, ''Hey, girlfriend, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up, you look so excited.''
The bride replies ''I have just given the last blow job of my entire life.''