Nymphomaniac Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three guys are travelling across the country. Their car breaks down in
the middle of nowhere, so they get out and start walking. They come
across this farm, so they go up, knock on the door, and the farmer comes
to the door and they explain their predicament to him. The farmer says
he will drive them into town tomorrow, but they will have to wait until
the morning, because everything in town is closed at this late hour.
The farmer then offers them food, and lets them sleep in the garage.
Before they go to sleep, the farmer comes out and tells them, "My daughter
is a nymphomaniac. If I hear any one of you even thinking about f*cking her,
I will blow your brains out." The farmer then leaves and goes to bed.
About 2:00am one of the guys wakes up. The temptation is too great for him.
He goes into the house and walks slowly up the stairs. About half way up
the stairs, he hits a loose board. "CREAK!!!" Immediately the more...

Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?
A: The prostitute thinks, "Aren't you done yet?"
The nympho thinks, "Are you done already?"
The blonde thinks, "Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

Mommy, Mommy! What's an Oedipus complex?
Shut up and kiss me!
Mommy, Mommy! Whats an orgasm?
I don't know dear, ask your father.
Mommy, Mommy! What's a nymphomaniac?
Shut up and help me get Gramma off
the doorknob!
Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off thecliff?
Shut up son, you'll wake your father.
Mommy, Mommy! The milkmans here;
have you got the money or should I go
out anplay?
Mommy, Mommy! Why's everybody running?
Shut up and reload.
Mommy, Mommy! Why are you moaning?
Shut up son, and keep licking.
Mommy, Mommy! Can I get pregnant?
Of course not dear, you are only seven years
old.
OK boys, same again...
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's running down the street!
Shut up and step on the gas!
Come upstairs, son, like a good boy.
No, Mommy, you'll only throw me down again.

Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts!
Shut up and get away from the dart board!

Mommy, more...