Odor Jokes / Recent Jokes

Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odor. "Do you wash?" the doc asked the rank young girl. "Oh, yes," Mary answered. "Each morning, I start at my head and wash down as far as possible. Then I start at my feet and wash up as far up as possible." "Well," the doc concluded, "go home and wash possible."

Roosevelt and Deelya were astonished when Noah selected them to be the ants to represent their species in the ark. After all, they were considered inferior by the other ants in the anthill because of their large odor sensors. In humility they bowed before Noah and said "We is honored to join you in this here boat" although they weren't really sure what a boat was. In fact, just that same day they had heard a couple of termites joking about "Noah's Folly", saying the wood wasn't any good for chewing.
Roosevelt and Deelya were glad they were small, because Noah was really packing the animals in, and things were getting crowded. Just when it seemed there was absolutely no room for anything else, water began to fall from the sky and Noah shut the doors. Soon the ark began to rock, and it floated off into the growing storm, with all hands (several thousand, including itty-bitty flea feet) accounted for.
It was the middle of the night when the ark struck the side more...

On AppearanceExcessive use of perfume makes a woman less desirable. Perfumes are manufactured from fragrances of herbs, flowers, and other substances that are put into some medium that is strong enough to hold the odor. That medium is often ambergris...a secretion from the intestines of the sperm whale. In other words, you and your man may smell the odor of whale puke instead of enjoying the fragrance of flowers or herbs.Cleanliness is especially important. If a woman uses enough soap and has that clean, fresh look that a recent shower gives, she could wear a potato sack and still be desirable for her male.T-shirts are great. It doesn't take much male imagination to know that in less than five seconds, they are off over your head.Food particles between the teeth, especially the front teeth, are highly undesirable.On DatingIf you need to pass gas (fart), excuse yourself from his presence. Try not to destroy illusions by unpleasant odors. If you need to pass gas, face him..If you must more...

It was a really hot day at the office. There were about twenty people in close quarters and everyone was sweating, even with a fan on.
All of a sudden, people started to wrinkle their noses at an odor passing through the air. It was the most hideous smell anyone had ever smelt.
One man said, "Uh oh, someone's deodorant isn't working."
Santa from the distant corner replied, "It can't be me. I'm not wearing any."

Dear President Bush
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As you said, "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman."
I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them:
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. more...