Operator Jokes / Recent Jokes
A couple of Texas hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to
the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in
his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can
help. But first, lets make sure he's dead."
"OK", the hunter says.... He puts down the phone, then there is a silence, then a shot is heard.....
The hunter says, "OK, now what?"
An elevator operator complained that he was getting tired of people asking him for the time.
A friend suggested that he hang a clock in his elevator.
A few weeks later, the friend inquired as to how things were going.
"Just awful!" declared the elevator operator.
"NOW, all day long, people ask me, "Is the clock right?" exclaimed the elevator operator.
This is so close to what is probably going to be happening in 2008 that we're not sure how funny this really is:
Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?
Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.
Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.
Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610.
Operator: Thank you Mr Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell phone number is 031 266-2566. Email addresses are sea2fd. sea2@hotmail and
This little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells,
"Help, send the police to my house right away! There's a damn Democrat
on my front porch and he's playing with himself."
"What?" the operator exclaimed. "I said there is a damn Democrat on my
front porch playing with himself and he's weird; I don't know him and
I'm afraid! Please send the police!" the little old lady repeated.
"Well, now, how do you know he's a Democrat?"
"Because, you damn fool, if it was a Republican, he'd be screwing
somebody!"
The following are real conversations Directory Enquiries operators had with callers, as revealed in interviews with staff at the Cardiff DE Centre.
Caller: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please. Operator: I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct? Caller: Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the B fell off.
* * *
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. Operator: Woven? Are you sure? Caller: Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland.
* * *
Caller: I'd like the RSPCA please.
Operator: Where are you calling from?
Caller: The living room
* * *
Caller: The water board please.
Operator: Which department?
Caller: Tap water.
* * *
Operator: How are you spelling that?
Caller: With letters.
* * *
Caller: I'd like the number more...
I work for customer service at AT&T, and we often have to deal with the most confounding questions and responses from customers. Here are a few taken from a compilation called "Thank You for Calling AT&T."
"Thanks for calling AT&T, this is Londa."
"Who did I Call? LONDON?"
"No, this is Londa."
"WHERE? LONDON, ENGLAND?"
"I've been on hold four months."
"Can you tell me if my calling card is in my wallet?"
"I was trying to abuse my calling card, and it's just not working!"
"So...which adult party line would YOU choose?"
"Is 30% more than 10%?"
"I want you to check my bill to see if I would save money on a different plan."
"I'd be glad to do that. May I have your area code and phone number?
"You'll have to look it up. It's a non-published number. I don't give it out."
"I think you're screwing me! I'm going to more...
The following are real conversations Directory Enquiries operators had with callers, as revealed in interviews with staff at the Cardiff DE Centre.
Caller: I`d like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please. Operator: I`m sorry, there`s no listing. Is the spelling correct? Caller: Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the B fell off.
* * *
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. Operator: Woven? Are you sure? Caller: Yes. That`s what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland.
* * *
Caller: I`d like the RSPCA please.
Operator: Where are you calling from?
Caller: The living room
* * *
Caller: The water board please.
Operator: Which department?
Caller: Tap water.
* * *
Operator: How are you spelling that?
Caller: With letters.
* * *
Caller: I`d like the number for a reverend in Cardiff, please.
Operator: Do you have his name?
Caller: No, but he more...