Operator Jokes / Recent Jokes
Banta and his friend are out in the country shooting rabbits. Suddenly, Banta's friend falls right in front of him, throws a quick spasm, then lies perfectly still. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. In fact, he looks pretty well dead!
Quick, as a flash, horrified Banta whips out his mobile and calls for emergency. He gasps breathlessly to the operator... My friend just fell to the ground right here in front of me! He's not breathing. He has no heartbeat! I think he is dead! What can I do?"
Well accustomed to this sort of situation, the emergency operator responds with her most soothing tone... "Okay Sir, you must try to stay calm. If there's anything that can be done, we'll do it. But you will have to keep your cool, then we can take it one step at a time! Okay now?
"Sure! Sure! Of course, you're right. I'm fine. Just tell me what must I do?"
"Great! Now first of all, let's make sure he's dead."....The more...
Buying A BullTwo sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need topurchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide tobuy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decidesshe does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send hersister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send atelegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our more...
A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire. The three men try to solve the problem.
The project manager said: "Let's catch a cab and in ten minutes we'll reach our destination."
The computer programmer said: "We have here the driver's guide. I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive."
The computer operator said: "First of all, let's turn off the engine and turn it on again. Maybe it will fix the problem."
Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said: "Try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again."
Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911: Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb. Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb? Blonde: Yes. Operator: And the switch is on? Blonde: Yes, yes. Operator: And the bulb still won't light up? Blonde: No, it's working fine. Operator: Then what's the problem? Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.
An elderly man called 911 and said he thought his wife might be dead.
Operator: "MIGHT be dead? Sir, can't you tell if she is dead?"
Man: "I'm not quite sure."
Operator: "Well, what makes you THINK that she could be dead?"
Man: "Well, the sex is the same, but the dishes are beginning to pile up in the sink."
Laloo to a long-distance telephone operator: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PATNA AND LAS VEGAS? "
Operator: "JUST A MINUTE, SIR..."
Laloo: "THANK YOU", AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.
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"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE."
And the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE."
The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR? "
Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
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After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite sometime,
Laloo proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.
"It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT," Laloo brags.
"FIVE MONTHS? THAT'S TOO LONG." the friend exclaims. "YOU ARE A FOOL".
Laloo replies. "SEE THIS CARTOON, IT more...
Caller: Operator! Operator! Call me an ambulance! Operator: Okay. You're an ambulance!