Orange Jokes / Recent Jokes

Did you hear about the blonde that stared at an orange juice can for, "Did you hear about the blonde that stared at an orange juice can for20 minutes because it said concentrate?

One day in Contract Law class, a Professor asked one of his better students, "Now, if you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?"

The student replied, "Here's an orange."

The professor was livid.

"No! No! Think like a lawyer!" the Professor instructed.

The student then recited, "Okay, I'd tell him,' I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding..."

A man goes to see his doctor and explains to him that his penis has turned orange.
After examining him, the doctor exclaims, "Goodness, in all the years I have been a physician, I have never seen anything like this. What is it you do for a living? Do you work around any hazardous materials?"
"No" replies the man.
"What do you do all day?" asks the doctor.
"Nothing, doc," the man says.
Puzzled, the doctor asks, "You can't not do anything. What do you do at home all day?"
"I told you doc, I really don't do anything. I just sit around watching porn flicks and eating Cheetos," the man replies.

The professor of a contract law class asked one of his better students, "If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?"
The student replied, "Here's an orange."
The professor was outraged. "No! No! Think like a lawyer!"
The student then replied, "Okay. I'd tell him 'I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding..."'

Take your time with this test and you will be amazed.

The Dalai Lama suggests you read it to see if it works for you. Very Interesting. Just 4 questions and the answers will surprise you.

Be honest and do not cheat by looking up the answers.

The mind is like a parachute, it works best when it is opened. This is fun to do, but you have to follow the instructions very closely. Do not cheat.

MAKE A WISH BEFORE BEGINNING THE TEST!

A warning! Answer the questions as you go along. There are only 4 questions and if you see them all before finishing, you will not have honest results.

Go down slowly, and complete each exercise as you scroll down. Don`t look ahead. Get pencil and paper to write your answers as you go along. You will need it at the end.

This is an honest questionnaire which will tell you a lot about your true self. Give an answer for each item. The first thing that comes to mind is usually your best more...

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

Q: Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice?
A: Because it said "Concentrate"