Pack Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man rushes home and kicks in the front door, yelling " Pack your bags honey, ive just won the lottery!" "Oh thats wonderful!" shouts the wife. Should i pack for the beach, or pack for the mountains? " I dont care" replies the man! "Just get the fuck out"

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these Dad?"
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son.... Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see." replied the boys pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package."
The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men." the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy; "Then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.
With a sigh, the dad replied, more...

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack
up your things. I just won the California lottery!"
Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"
The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the
house by noon!"

One day there were three guys, a blond a black and a brown head. these three guys worked on top of a relly high building. there wifes always packed there lunches for them. they packed them a apple a juice box and a penut butter sand witch. now these three guys got penut butter sandwitches for 2 weeks straight so one day they all made a promise that if they got penut butter sandwithces the next day they would jump and kill them selfs of the building! the next day srue anofe there was a penut butter sandwithce in each lunch box. the brown hair said let there be peace in the world and jumed of the bulding. the black hair one said same here. the blondy said hey it seems to be a trend and i promised so here it gose and he jumped. the next day the boss went to the funarils the boss said why are you cring? brown hairs wife said why did i pack him a penut butter sandwith why?
the boss gose to the black hairs funaril and see the wife crying and the boss said y r u cring? y did i pack him a more...

This lady got home and bursts in yelling,' Pack your bags honey, I just won the lottery!' The husband says' Oh wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or the mountains?' She then replies,' I don't care...Just get the hell out!'

A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It`s the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas? I`ll be home in an hour to pick them up." He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off. A week later he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?" "Oh yes, great! But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas." "Oh no I didn`t. I put them in your fishing box."

Once A Person Went To A Shopkeeper Who Was Sleeping And Asked "Can I Have Dog Biscuits" He Did Not Reply. He Asked The Same
Question Again(Shouted)He Replied-"U Want To Eat Them Right Now Or Shall I Pack It?