Package Jokes / Recent Jokes

Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person askeda young engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were youlooking for?"The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125, 000 a year, dependingon the benefits package."The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, companymatching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leasedevery 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

News just in of Microsoft's latest venture: Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating every aspect of American life with the introduction of Contraceptive98, a suite of applications designed for users who engage in sex. Microsoft has been a pioneer in peer-to-peer connectivity and plug and play.
It believes these technologies will give it substantial leverage in penetrating the copulation enhancement market.The product addresses two important user concerns: the need for virus protection and the need for a firewall to ensure the non-propagation of human beings.
The Contraceptive98 suite consists of three products: Condom98, DeFetus 1.0 (from Sementec), and AIDScan 2.1 (from Norton Utilities). A free copy of Intercourse Explorer 4.0 is bundled in the package. The suite also comes in two expanded versions. Contraceptive98 Professional is the Client/Server edition, for professionals in the sexual services sector. Contraceptive98 Small Business Edition is a more...

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks,' What are these, Dad?' To which the man matter-of-factly replies,' Those are called condoms, son.... Men use them to have safe sex.'' Oh I see,' replied the boys pensively.' Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school.' He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks,' Why are there 3 in this package.' The dad replies,' Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.'' Cool!' says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks,' Then who are these for?'' Those are for college men.' the dad answers,' TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday.'' WOW!' exclaimed the boy,' then who uses THESE?' he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh, the dad replied,' Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March........'

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The candidate said, "In the neighborhood of $125, 000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"
And the HR Person said, "Certainly,. .. but you started it."

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked
a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you
looking for?"
The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125, 000 a year, depending
on the benefits package."
The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of
5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company
matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased
every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

Getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

Moishe walks into a post office to send a package to his wife. The postmaster says, "This package is too heavy, you'll need another stamp." Moishe replies, "And that should make it lighter?"