Paints Jokes / Recent Jokes
Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month.
He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles.
You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob".
He refers to Klingons as "Critters".
He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns".
He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil.
He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section.
He says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies".
He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen.
He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle.
He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it.
He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage".
He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser.
He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba".
He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster".
He programs the food replicator for more...
Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month.He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles.You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob".He refers to Klingons as "Critters".He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns".He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil.He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section.He says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies".He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen.He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle.He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it.He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage".He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser.He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba".He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster".He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens.He paints the starship John Deere green.He more...
Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month. He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles. You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob". He refers to Klingons as "Critters". He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns". He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil. He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section. He says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies". He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen. He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle. He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it. He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage". He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser. He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba". He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster". He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens. He paints the starship John more...
Aig - What a hen lays.
Aints - He's got aints in his paints.
Paints - What cha put on your laigs of a morning.
Arn - Ma's tard of arnin.
Bag - He bagged her to marry him.
Bobbed - A bobbed wire fence.
Bresh - He had a bresh with the law, and the law won.
Bub - the light bub burned out.
Cheer - What you set in.
Crick - A small stream.
Clum - He sure clum that tree fastern any 'coon.
Chiny - country over in Asia.
Chuch duds - Sunday go-to-meetin clothes.
Core - He got hisself a new Ford core.
Cyow - Animal on Farm.
Deppity - He helps out the shurf..
Dribbed - He dribbed milk on his shirt.
Dainz - Satidy night social.
Ellum - A graceful tree.
Fanger - What you put your rang on.
Faince - Whats round the hawg lot.
Your Starship Captain just might be a redneck if...
your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month
he paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles
you have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"
he refers to Klingons as "Critters"
he refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns"
he has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil
he installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section
he says, "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"
he hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen
he rewires his communicator into his belt buckle
he keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it
he says, "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"
he has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser
he insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"
he sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of more...
WORLD FAMOUS SOUTHERN TALK
BECOME A NATIVE SOUTHERNER
How to talk native SOUTHERN in one easy lesson
Aig - What a hen lays
Aints - He's got aints in his paints
Paints - What cha put on your laigs of a mornin
Arn - Ma's tard of arnin
Bag - He bagged her to marry him
Bobbed - A bobbed wire fence
Bresh - He had a bresh with the law, and the law won.
Bub - the light bub burned out
Cheer - What you set in
Crick - A small stream
Clum - He sure clum that tree fastern any' coon
Chiny - country over in Asia
Chuch duds - Sunday go-to-meetin clothes
Core - He got hisself a new Ford core
Cyow - Animal on Farm
Deppity - He helps out the shurf
Dribbed - He dribbed milk on his shirt
Dainz - Satidy night social
Ellum - A graceful tree
Fanger - What you put your rang more...
There's a blonde and a brunette working for a painting company. They need to paint the yellow lines on a road by hand for the city since the trucks are broken.
The first day the blonde paints 5.4 miles of road, the brunette paints 6 miles of road.
The second day the blonde paints 4.1 miles of road, the brunette paints 6.7 miles of road.
The third day the blonde paints 2.9 miles of road, the brunette paints 6.9 miles of road.
Worried about the blonde, the supervisor goes to the blonde and asks why she is painting less and less road each day.
She replies, "The bucket just keeps getting further and further away."