Parrot Jokes / Recent Jokes

The old maid bought herself a parrot to brighten her lonely hours. The parrot's name was Bobby, and he was a charming bird, with but one small fault. Whenever the mild-mannered lady had company in, Bobby would cut loose with a number of obscene expressions he'd picked up from his previous owner, a retired madam.
The lady discussed this problem with her pastor, and after witnessing a particularly purple display, the good man suggested, "This parrot needs company. Get him interested in another of his species, and he'll soon forget his sinful past.
"I, myself, have a parrot. Her name is Sarah and she is an unusually devout bird. She prays constantly. Let me bring her with me the next time I call. We'll keep them together a few days-I'm certain her religious background will have a marked influence on this fellow's character."
Thus, the next time the pastor called, he brought his parrot, and the two birds were placed in a single cage. They spent the first more...

An old man died and left his talking parrot to his nephew.
Unfortunately, the old man’s language was not the cleanest, and it would seem that the parrot picked up on this. The nephew did not like this, and tried to break the parrot of its swearing habit. He tried everything. He played religious music, he was kind to the bird, he spent long hours trying to teach it manners. Finally, one day, he became so frustrated, he threw the parrot into the freezer.
“There, ” he said. “Maybe he’ll cool off in there. ”
For the first few seconds, the parrot swore a blue streak inside that freezer. Then, suddenly, the parrot fell silent.
A few moments later, the nephew heard from within the freezer, “If you would be so kind as to let me out, I promise to rectify my unsavory vocabulary. ”
Shocked and surprised, the nephew quickly opened the door and removed the chilly but sedate bird. Before he could say anything, however, the parrot spoke.
“If you more...

A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder...the bartender looks up and says " where the hell did you get that thing? The Parrot replies " Over in Africa, there's millions of them "! !!!

A Russian man loses his pet parrot. He looks everywhere, all around the
neighbourhood, in the park, everywhere. He just can't find the parrot.
Finally, he goes around to the local KGB office, and tells the desk officer
his problem.
The desk officer is a little puzzled. "Look comrade, I'm sorry you lost
your pet, but this is the KGB. We don't handle missing animal reports."
"Oh, I know that," says the man. "I just wanted you to know, if you do
happen to find my parrot-I don't know where he could have picked up his
political ideas."

A woman goes to a pet store and sees a beautiful parrot with a sign that says: "Talking parrot, $20." She asks the owner why such an exotic animal is only $20. The owner says, "Well, the parrot used to live in a house of prostitution, and I'm not sure what sort of things he might say." The lady buys the parrot thinking it is worth the risk. She takes the parrot home, sets up his cage, and the parrot looks around and says, "New house, new madam." The lady laughs, then her daughter comes home. The parrot says, "New house, new madam, new girl." The lady explains the story to her daughter and they both laugh. The woman's husband comes home, and the parrot says, "New house, new madam, new girl, hello Steve."

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical-looking parrots on a perch and says, "The parrot on the left costs $500."



"Why does the parrot cost so much?" asks the customer.



The owner says "Well, the parrot knows how to do legal research." The customer then asks about the next parrot, to be told that this one costs $1, 000 because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to write a brief that will win any case.



Naturally, the increasingly startled customer asks about the third parrot, to be told that it costs $4, 000. Needless to say, this begs the question, "What can it do?"



To which the owner replies, "To be honest, I've never seen him do a darn thing, but the other two call him Senior Partner."

A little old lady buys a pair of parrots, but cannot identify their sexes. She calls the shop, and the man there advises her to watch them carefully and all would become clear in time.She spends weeks staring at the cage and eventually catches them doing what comes naturally. To make sure she doesn't get them mixed up again, she cuts out a ring from a piece of cardboard and puts it round the male parrot's neck.A while later, the local priest visits the old lady. The male parrot takes one look at the father's collar, wolf whistles, and says, "I see she caught you at it, too."